RIP Chris Cornell


Wow. Just… wow.

You know, when I was younger I wanted to grow up and be Chris Cornell. I was extremely disappointed to discover the job had already been taken.

Now that it’s open again I doubt I could fill his shoes.

I’ve gone on record as saying I wasn’t a huge fan of King Animal, but I was looking forward to its followup. I’m disappointed that I’ll probably never hear that now.

Hope you enjoy my hastily thrown together playlist.

 

 

Soundgarden Superunknown

Soundgarden Down on the Upside

The Where’s My Shirt Tour

#Top15onthe15th

Rock on the Range 2013

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RIP J. Geils


You probably wouldn’t take me for a big J. Geils fan. To be fair, I’m not a big J. Geils fan. But how can anyone with a pair of ears (or even one ear) resist that melody in “Centerfold”?

I certainly can’t. And I’m excited to read Boppin’s Post on Geils’ Top 10 to hear some of the band’s songs beyond those three I already know.

January Review


Dues to circumstances beyond my control January turned into a month of tributes. I had meant to do a few posts on Lemmy, but that expanded into posts on Bowie and Glenn Frey also. About halfway through I realized that I had a common theme going and I decided that my last post of the month should commemorate it. I also didn’t even touch on a few other musicians like Blowfly, Paul Kantner or Jimmy Bain.

I was going to post the Tenacious D song “Tribute” because I couldn’t think of anything better, but then I did think of a better song as a send off for all those we lost in January.

Good luck not getting this stuck in your head.

Lemmy Resumes Roadie Duties for Hendrix


Lemmy               The Afterlife- Upon his recent passing, Motorhead leader Lemmy Kilmister was surprised by the lack of viable employment to be found in the great hereafter.

“I got up here and they told me I had to find a job,” said the recently deceased bassist/singer of the popular metal group. “Well shit, The only job I ever really had was playing in bands and as it turns out not too many people are into Motorhead around here. We appealed to a lot of the younger crowd and I guess not many of our fans have died yet.”

It was during an ill fated Motordead show with former band mate Phil ‘Philthy Animal’ Taylor at CBGB’s that Kilmister ran into his former employer Jimi Hendrix, who was all too happy to offer him a job.

“Yeah man, I’ve been up here for a while playing with all sorts of different cats and keeping everything groovy, but I’ve been getting real tired of some of these cats who move my amps around. You know in heaven we have some pretty awesome gear and I don’t want just any asshole carrying my stuff around. You’d think they only let good people in here, but you’d be surprised.”

heavenly Jimi HendrixKilmister was all to happy for the gig. “It was great to see my old mate again. He remembered me from the huge warts on me face. Now I’ve got all the money I need to buy afterlife whiskey and cigarettes. They’re not cheap up here, mate.”

Occasionally the pair will get together for jam sessions which have produced great versions of “Louie Louie” and “Wild Thing.” They plan to form a proper super group once they find a permanent drummer.

“We were really hoping to get Ginger Baker,” said Hendrix. “But unfortunately he hasn’t died yet. We’re hoping for him to croak soon. That cat really doesn’t look like he has much time left.”

The group plans to release their debut album on Eric Clapton’s Bushbranch Records just as soon as the former Cream drummer kicks the bucket.

Peaceful Easy Feeling


I was saddened to read that Glenn Frey of the Eagles passed away. I was also surprised to not see any tributes to him here on WordPress. This is the first rock star to pass away recently that hasn’t sent my whole social media feed into an uproar.

Is it because we’re all just burnt out on the rock star death thing? I mean, Scott Weiland, Lemmy, Bowie. I think we’re living in a golden age of rock star deaths.

Is it because people don’t like the Eagles? They are that mellow sounding Avacado rock that I usually detest, but I think mom brainwashed me into liking them by playing them way too much during my formative years.

Is it because all of the more recent Eagles music is horrible and doesn’t come close to capturing the brilliance of their 70’s work?

Or is it just that people don’t know?

 

An Early Contender


Last year I began working on my year-end top ten list in April. By that time I had heard several tunes I didn’t want to forget by December so I copied a few YouTube videos into a post and continued to work on it through the year.

It looks like this year I’ll have to start even sooner!

Granted, David Bowie does lose a few points for the whole dying thing. That seems to be a common trick to boost record sales. I’m sure STP and Motorhead are both seeing surges in revenue now, but I have to say Bowie put out some great stuff on his swan song. I listened to Heathen a few years ago and wasn’t really impressed. Honestly I like his hits but the only album I love front to back is Ziggy Stardust. That might change after I check out Blackstar.

I know the first single has everything I love about Bowie. Hooks, lyrics and being really, really fucking weird.

 

The sad thing is that I’m sure I wouldn’t be having the same reaction to this song if Bowie were still alive. I’m sure that opening line “Look up here, I’m in heaven” wouldn’t have the same impact.

I hope any of you who haven’t listened to him yet will take this time to check out some of his work. Over a 50 year career I’m guessing there’s something for everyone.

Ode to Lemmy


You may have noticed my omission of any tributes to Lemmy Kilmister on my year end post. One reason is that many others who have been much better fans for far longer than I have said such great things. And another reason is that there is too much to say to jam it in with the rest of the year.

I’ve never been a huge Motorhead fan. My introduction to Lemmy came from the movie ‘Airheads,’ which had way more of an impact on me than it should have.

 

I bought a greatest hits record a few years ago but still haven’t delved into their deep cuts. Still, if the hits are any indication, I’m missing a helluva lot.

The day he died I posted a tweet that summed up my feelings perfectly: “Wanna hear something strange? I wasn’t at all surprised when died at 48, but dying at 70 is a shock.” Though he wasn’t a bastion of clean living it was always assumed that he would outlive Twinkies, the hula-hoop and Justin Bieber. Mr 1537 put it best with: “I was pretty shocked to read that Lemmy had passed, I know his health had not been good for a while but I assumed that, along with Keith Richards he would survive the apocalypse and would end up touring, playing versions of ‘Ace of Spades’ and ‘Overkill’ to our insect overlords for centuries to come.”

I know he was having trouble standing for shows, but you’d think they could set him down in a chair and just put the mic at the same height everyone else uses.

I was thinking of doing a post about the last super group ever, which would have consisted of Lemmy, Richards, Ringo Starr on drums, Jerry Lee Lewis on piano and Leonard Cohen on vocals. Sadly, that joke isn’t quite as funny anymore. Especially with the recent news that Keith Richards actually died in the mid-nineties and has been replaced by a cigarette smoking android.

rocko as lemmyI also have to thank Lemmy for inspiring me to write my second highest ranked post of this year: Shocking New Photos of Lemmy. It didn’t quite go viral, but that dumb joke attracted more views than I expected.

I plan on reviewing that greatest hits package in the next few weeks, but for now I’ll just rest assured that somewhere up above me Lemmy is watching over all of us. And probably spilling cigarette ashes and Jack Daniels on us.

Cleveland Narrowly Averts Tragedy


mr_brownstone-nye

17 April 2015

House of Blues; Cleveland, OH

Masters of Destruction Tour

Mayhem and chaos nearly spilled onto the streets of Cleveland last night after a stop on the Master of Destruction tour featuring tribute acts of Guns N Roses and Metallica.

“It was a total rip off,” said one concert goer. “I would start a riot, but the tickets only cost $20. So I’m not really that pissed off.”

The trouble began when The Four Housemans’ singer/guitarist Anse ‘Devil’ Hatfield was wounded by some misplaced pyrotechnics.

“It sure is a good thing we can’t use real pyro,” lead guitarist Randall McCoy said. “As it turned out he only burnt himself on a sparkler. It was when he lost his balance and stumbled to the ground in front of the fog machine that he was really wounded.”

Hatfield was treated for smoke inhalation at the Cleveland Clinic. He also suffered 1st degree burns from the sparkler.

“Unfortunately Devil has been injured and will not be able to finish the performance,” Drummer Lars Upchuck told an apathetic crowd. “We’ll make this up to you on our next stop in town. We now leave you in the competent hands of One in a Million.”

Guns N Roses tribute act One in a Million took to the stage 2 hours late and only played somewhere from 20-30 minutes because, as singer Prince Edward Arthur Charles Exl said, “We’re a true GnR tribute act. And that means that when a member of a Metallica tribute act get’s burned onstage we have to cut our set short. Even if it doesn’t happen in Montreal

Fortunately most of the audience had already left by the time One in a Million took to the stage so there wasn’t enough of a crowd to start a riot by the time they left.

“We really dodged a bullet tonight,” said a Cleveland Police Officer who wished to remain anonymous. “We could have had a sad, depressing day just like any other day in Cleveland, but instead something awesome happened and we get to be part of rock tribute history.”

One in a Million lead guitarist Slit could not be reached for comment.

 

The Greatest Power Duo


I think today it’s time that someone pay homage to the greatest songwriting partnership to ever grace the lands of rock music. No, I’m not talking about Jagger/Richards, Page/Plant, Tyler/Perry, Axl/Slash or Hetfield/Ulrich. I’m not even talking about Lennon/McCartney. And I’m certainly not talking about Simon & Garfunkel, Sonny & Cher, Seals & Croft, Hall & Oates, Rodrigo y Gabriel or The Captain & Tennille.

 

I’m talking about Elton John and Bernie Taupin.

Captain Fantastic & The Brown Dirt Cowboy

Captain Fantastic & The Brown Dirt Cowboy

 

I’m not sure why more credit isn’t given to this astonishing duo who gave us such gems as “Your Song,” “Tiny Dancer” and “Candle in the Wind.” It could be because only one of them was a performer. Taupin wrote the words, handed them to Elton and then his job was done. It could be that they didn’t live the stereotypical rock and roll lifestyles with  excesses of groupies, drugs and televisions thrown out of windows.

 

Or it could be that Elton John sits down to pee.

 

Either way, I hope you’ll join me in celebrating this songwriting team that shines with the brightest and continues to put out music to this day (though not nearly as good as the stuff they did when they were young and hungry in the early seventies).

 

I’d like to share with you my favorite song. Not just in the canon of John/Taupin, but my favorite song EVER! Hope you enjoy…