The Ultimate Driving Mixtape*


I’m pretty sure there’s something wrong with my mental state. I’m off in the head.

For the past month and a half, my girlfriend has been in the hospital and I’ve managed to visit her three or four times a week. This is a bit of an inconvenience as she’s about an hour drive away**.

So last week I took a vacation day… to drive two hours in the other direction and take an introduction to solar energy systems and design class in the southern part of the state. It wasn’t until I was cruising back on the highway that I realized this isn’t something most people do. In fact, most people would probably say I’m in desperate need of a psychiatrist.

And after I finish installing these solar panels and save on my electric bill I’ll make an appointment.

The insane part is that I actually enjoy the drive. Southern Ohio/Northern West Virginia is filled with beautiful scenery. It was a gorgeous day, and I got to enjoy it in my own way.

The best part is that my new*^ car has one of those newfangled ‘radio’ contraptions so I was able to listen to music the whole way. When I needed a break from the Creedence CD I brought along I was able to scan through the stations and usually land on something descent that made time pass a little quicker.

This got me thinking “what would be on the ultimate driving playlist?” And because one of my hobbies is blogging I had to turn it into something.

Granted, most of this is low hanging fruit, but give me a break; I’ve been doing a lot of driving lately.


Tom Cochran “Life is a Highway”

The Rolling Stones “Gimme Shelter”

The Carpenters “Superstar”

 

Beastie Boys “No Sleep Till Brooklyn”

AC/DC “Highway to Hell”

Elton John “Tiny Dancer”

 

 

Meat Loaf “Bat Out Of Hell”

Heart “Barracuda”

 

Jimi Hendrix “All Along The Watchtower”

Red Hot Chili Peppers “Soul 2 Squeeze”

Queen “Bohemian Rhapsody”

 

So I know all of your typing fingers are burning up right now to tell me which I missed. And that’s great! I purposely left enough space on this virtual disc for a little feedback. That’s what comments are for.

Have at ‘er!


 

* I’m sure someone has already done this post in a different way, but now it’s my turn!

**But she’s totally worth it.

*^Actually, it’s a year older than my previous vehicle, but the owner took much better care of it so it’s like a new car.

 

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The Rolling Stones “Sticky Fingers” (2015 Deluxe Edition)


Vinyl records collectorsI’ve mentioned before that I’m a newcomer to the Stones’ fold. Of course I’ve always been aware of them and familiar with their music, but it wasn’t until I bought Hot Rocks 1964-1971 last November that I truly became a fan. Since then I’ve been slowly filling in the gaps in my Stones knowledge. I picked up Exile on Main Street from the library and when I saw that Sticky Fingers was getting a deluxe treatment I put it on my hold list. It finally came in last week.

I’m really glad I didn’t buy it. That’s not to say Sticky Fingers isn’t a great album. I enjoy it more than Exile. It’s definitely more concise, and for that reason feels more focused to me. But I’m not entirely sold on the bonus disc. Personally I couldn’t justify spending the extra money for it.

And if I’m going to buy a copy of Sticky Fingers it better come with the working zipper!

I’m guessing you’ve already heard Sticky Fingers so I don’t want to go on about the original album. I was already familiar with “Brown Sugar” and “Wild Horses” from Hot Rocks. I know it’s a little misogynistic (and probably racist), but “Brown Sugar” gets stuck in my head whenever the cute Mexican girl at work walks by and “Horses” makes me feel something. I’m not really sure what, but that tune is trying really hard to evoke emotions. “Can’t You Hear Me Knocking” and “Bitch” are some new hard rocking favorites. I’m loving that riff on “Knocking.” I think it may be one of Keith’s best. I’m familiar with “Dead Flowers” from a punked up cover a local band did years ago. It’s a great country-twinged tune that doesn’t sound much like the Stones. I’m not a big fan of the slow “I Got The Blues,” but maybe as I get more familiar with it I’ll like it more.

 

When it comes to the bonus disc the thing that sticks out is that Keith Richards is horrible at backing vocals! I love the acoustic version of “Wild Horses” not so much for the stripping away of the leads, but more because Jagger’s voice sounds so great solo. And the version of “Brown Sugar” with Eric Clapton suffers not so much from his lackluster slide performance, but from a mix that raises Richards’ voice.

Alternate takes of “Can’t You Hear Me Knocking” (a much shorter one), “Bitch” and “Dead Flowers” are also on the disc. I’d have to say the band made the right choice when choosing which versions to put on the album, but it is neat to hear some outtakes. “Flowers” is the most different (and interesting).

The bonus disc is rounded out with 5 live songs “at the Roundhouse, 1971.” I can’t say I’m blown away by these. I’m guessing someone more familiar with the material would like them more, but to me they’re just so-so. Perhaps I’ll revisit them someday and hear them differently. The only one I’m really familiar with is “Honky Tonk Women,” another song that suffers from too much Keith Richard singing.

rolling-stones-sticky-fingers-promo-650x400

Why is is that Charlie Watts looks so cool in this picture? He has that weird haircut and goofy smirk, but I’d just really like to hang out with him. If you’re wondering what I see when I think of ‘Englishman,’ this is pretty close.

The worst part of the deluxe version is the complete lack of liner notes. Perhaps this was just my library copy, but all I got was a photo booklet. They were neat photos, but I’d like to read some stories and/or insights from the band and/or those involved in the recording.

Sticky Fingers gets a 4/5 stars, but the Deluxe Edition gets a not worth the money/5 stars.

Fuck Censorship


 

Don’t you just love censorship? I know I do. I don’t think there’s anything better than being told that even though I’m legally old enough to smoke, drink, rent a car, marry or die for my country I’m still not responsible enough to decide what goes into my ear holes. Seriously, I like a good ‘fuck’ or ‘shit’ or ‘cock knuckle’ as much as the next guy. So who does Walmart or the FCC think they are trying to hide all this shit from me? Are they trying to protect me? Or do they just want to not offend people?

I think the most common form of censorship is probably the BEEP! You know, the one you hear when Johnny Cash sings “I’m the BEEP! who named you Sue.” It was so popular that Queens of the Stone Age copied it on my copy of Songs For The Deaf. The crazy thing is how cool it sounds on the song “Six Shooter.” The tune starts out quiet and distant, but whenever Mark Lanegan says ‘fuck’ they cover it up with a BEEP! loud enough to cover up all the ‘fucks’ in the song.

parental_advisoryI have a 20th Century Masters CD of Monster Magnet that does the same thing. I don’t understand why they BEEP! out the word ‘drug’ in “Tractor.” At first I thought he was driving a tractor on the goddamn farm, but according to google it’s a drug farm. I didn’t realize drug was a dirty word.

And while we’re on the subject of Monster Magnet, has anyone ever heard a version of “Space Lord” where he sings “Space Lord Motherfucker”? Or is it always “Mother Mother”?

According to the liner notes in the Ziggy Stardust movie when ABC aired the film as a movie of the week they put the annoying BEEP! over all of the mentions of death and suicide. I’m not sure how they managed to cover up the overall homo eroticism.

Then there’s censorship by omission. Sometimes instead of a BEEP! they just remove the offending word from the album. I was really surprised to hear how many times Corey Taylor says ‘motherfucker’ in the song “Get Inside” from Stone Sour’s debut five years after I first got my Walmart copy! Seriously, I had no idea there were so many mother f-bombs on that song. I was also always very confused by the line “So you fed me to digest” from “Bother.” Of course, add the word ‘shit’ and the line make sense.

RATM PMRCI think the worst is when they sort of dodge or scrub the offending word out of the song. If you’ve ever heard the song “Everything Zen” on the radio you know Gavin Rossdale is thinking of flying to Los Angeles to find his Ershrole brother. Or have you ever heard the Stabbing Westward song “Save Yourself”? You have to save yourself because he is not your savior, he is just as fushshcked as you. Seriously censors, go with option 1 or 2. Door number 3 is just awful. At least NIN changed “Starfuckers, Inc.” to “Starsuckers, Inc.” it’s still a word. I’m not sure how the Rolling Stones got away with it.

I remember someone telling me that even after 400 years America still hasn’t shaken off the puritan mindset that originally brought the ultra religious to our shores. I know watching MuchMusic back in the day it was always cool to see the different Canadian videos. I remember Radiohead’s “Paranoid Android” had some mermaid boobs that were covered in the US version.

So is censorship bad in other countries? Do any of my international readers have any idea what I’m writing about? Do they BEEP! ‘bloody hell’ and ‘bollocks’ in England?

We all know that the only things that really need to be censored are David Bowie’s crotch from the movie Labyrinth and the Adam Sandler song “Ode To My Car.”

New Music


Heavy Metal 2000 CD coverI’ve seen a few posts where people list the music they’ve bought and give a little commentary on it. I find these posts pretty interesting so I thought I’d try my hand at one. Plus I was curious as to how much money I spend on music. I was hoping to make it a year before I posted this, but after six months the list it already pretty long. So here we go!

21 Nov 2014 (Amazon.com)
The Beatles – The White Album       $11.31
Soundtrack – Heavy Metal 2000       $4.61
Soundtrack – The Cable Guy            $4

Somewhere along the way I lost my copies of the White Album and the Heavy Metal 2000 soundtrack and it was time I replaced them. I thought I’d pick up the Cable Guy while I was at it.

hot-rocks22 Nov 2014 (FYE New Town Mall New Philadelphia, OH)
The Rolling Stones – Hot Rocks 1964-1971   $19.99
Nine Inch Nails- Pretty Hate Machine            $7.99
Ray Charles – Anthology                                Free

It seems weird that I went 31 years without owning any Rolling Stones music. And it seems even worse that it took a BUY 2 GET 1 FREE ON USED CDs sale to get me to buy it. I still might not have any Rolling Stones music if it weren’t for the fact that FYE doesn’t have much of a selection (unless you really love Linkin Park). The copy of Pretty Hate Machine is a remastered version with the cover of Queen’s “Get Down Make Love” added. This is the second or third time I’ve bought that Ray Charles disc. My mom keeps stealing it.

2 Jan 2015 (The Exchange Canton, OH)Independent Worm Saloon
Wednesday 13 – Spook & Destroy                     $6
Butthole Surfers- Independent Worm Saloon     $5
Elton John – Honky Chateau                               $7
Blind Melon                                                         $1

I know I’ve said of Wednesday 13 that one of the things I love about his music is that I can sing along without ever having heard it before, but I’ve been wanting a disc for a while. “Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters” is one of my favorite Elton John songs but wasn’t in my collection until I got it here. And how could I pass up the Butthole Surfers and Blind Melon discs for those prices?

17 Jan 2015 (FYE)
Filter – Title of Record                                       $1.50
Ray Charles – Live at Montreux (DVD)             $3

They were having some kind of deal. I gave the DVD to my mom so hopefully she wont steal the CD again.

Eyes Set To Kill - Masks23 Jan 2015 (The Agora Cleveland, OH)
Eyes Set to Kill – Masks                                     $10

Picked this one up the last time I saw Wednesday 13.

 

 

 

21 Feb 2015 (Amazon.com MP3)
Killler Be Killed                                                $7.99
Kittie- I’ve Failed You                                      $6.99
The Very Best of Kiss                                     $5.99
The Last Internationale – We Will Reign         $7.99

Kiss is another band I didn’t have anything by. I usually try to buy 3 or so albums at a time from Amazon.

alice-in-chains-dirt-album-cover25 April 2015 (FYE)
Wednesday 13 – Transylvania 90210                               $7.99
Alice in Chains – Dirt                                                         $2.99
Murderdolls – Beyond the Valley of the Murderdolls        $4.99
Screaming Trees – Sweet Oblivion                                  $1.99

This was a BUY 1 GET 1 HALF OFF Sale. I actually sold the Spook & Destroy disc after buying Transylvania 90210. I needed a replacement Dirt because mine was scratched to hell. I gave it to the Goodwill for someone else to enjoy, but they’ll only be able to enjoy about half of it. I had Sweet Oblivion on my Amazon wishlist, but I really made out here because I managed to get it much cheaper.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall2 May 2015
Bad Religion – Stranger Than Fiction                                 $6
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (BluRay)                                   $5

I love the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but that may just be because I find frontal male nudity hilarious.

13 May 2015 (FYE)
Faith No More 3 Disc Set (Epic & Other Hits, The Real Thing and Angel Dust)     $7.49
Alice in Chains – Unplugged (CD+DVD)                                                                  $23.99

I actually passed up this FNM collection a week earlier, but then I heard Sol Invictus online and decided it was definitely worth the money. I’ve had my eye on this Unplugged CD + DVD and I finally gave up on the price going down.

Faith_No_More_-_Sol_Invictus_Album_Cover20 May 2015 (Amazon.com MP3)
Faith No More – Sol Invictus                                       $7.99
Elton John – Madman Across the Water                    $5.99

I ripped my copy of Madman from my mom’s old scratched to hell CD and the disc was so messed up that I could still hear skips listening to it in MP3 form. I’ve never had this happen before. So I got a replacement because I hate buying just one album from Amazon and I had to get Sol Invictus. 

So those are my new additions. How do you think I made out?

Are You Lost 9


1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nI’d like to think that because I’m such a great writer people are coming to read about my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into search engines and ending up here. After reading fellow blogger Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead folks to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

joan jett gay – She seems pretty happy.

keith richards friends with al jourgensen – Not yet, but like cockroaches and twinkies, they are expected to survive a nuclear holocaust.

Here you go old dude who figured out how to use the internet properly.

Here you go old dude who figured out how to use the internet properly.

porno layne staley – ewww

joan staley tits – Now? Or 1958?

black gives way to blue better than devil put dinosaurs here – I don’t think so.

acid bath song called blue something – “Venus Blue”

danzig shirtless Gee, how long did you have to search to find this?

penis stew bmg – ewww

organ grinder tutorial manson keyboard

how old is maria brink – Old enough to be your mother.

american musical supply catalog with george harrison on the cover

Vic Rattlehead talk to Godmegadeth’s religion

sara x mills naked fully – I actually looked for this on google for a minute before I realized that if the search brought them here… I’m probably not going to find it either.

bad religon hark the yuletide youtube

 

So You Wanna Start A Band Too?


imagesI’ve decided to do a series of band tips. I figure my band is successful enough and I’ve learned enough to have some wisdom to pass on. I’ve been doing it for a while and notice a lot of awful things bands pass off as normal behavior so hopefully I can make the world a better place by helping to prevent this.

I don’t profess to know everything about ‘how to make it in the music biz.’ If I did I would be writing this from the lounge of a tour bus and not the free couch in my cheap apartment (Or maybe I would be writing it from this couch between tours). At the moment my band has 277 likes on Facebook, 273 followers on Twitter and 835 fans on Reverbnation. We do well playing out and people enjoy our stuff; however, if you disagree with my views I encourage you to share your own. This tutorial is intended to help people catch up with where I’m at or surpass me. If you have another way of doing things which will bring more success I’d love to hear it.

Part 3: Criticism

1ea803353adb5dee29eb63665e0529dfAre you familiar with the saying “Everyone’s a critic”? How about “Opinions are like assholes”? There’s a reason people say things like that… They’re true!

And both the best and worst thing about the internet is that people can now share opinions with everyone. They can even share them with the band. This often leads to confrontation, name calling and a few buckets of hurt feelings.

My advice: Get over it.

Every couple of weeks I see some band on my Facebook feed going crazy over a bad review or someone saying they don’t like them. Since when do local bands expect everyone to like them? I know people who don’t like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Simon & Garfunkel, Alice Cooper and Motorhead. Personally I’m not a big fan of Radiohead. And while it hasn’t been discovered ,the LHC is looking for certain particles believed to exist that don’t enjoy Pink Floyd, CCR or Faith No More. Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity mathematically proves that not everyone in the world likes Johnny Cash.

So what’s so special about your band that everyone who hears you must love you?

07fe17371518c179a78031fd3e7a97053c64392d40363f7b1c2769535b9f9e78I think one of the biggest problems with local music is the complete lack of constructive criticism about bands. Constructive criticism is one of the best ways for bands to learn, grow and become better. Yet, whenever I say “I don’t really care for your style,” “I’m not a big fan of the backing tracks,” “You guy’s fucking suck,”  or “You should focus more on the music than masks and trying to be Slipknot” I’m called an asshole.

I’m not an asshole, I’m just the only one saying what a lot of other people are thinking. Bands seem to only want to hang out with folks who blow smoke up their ass and tell them how great they are, but that’s just not healthy.

Don’t get me wrong, the musician in me knows the pain you feel when someone says they don’t like your music. After putting all that hard work into something it sucks when people don’t dig it the way you do. But you have to remember that yelling and name calling don’t help your case and only make you look like a total asshole.

The only band that managed to turn around a bad review on the Audible Stew were the Said So. I didn’t care for them the first few times I saw them, but after I wrote about them and they got wind of it they offered me their album to review. When I heard “Leggo Your Ego” I thought it was pretty good and my view of the band has changed since then.

But my views of the bands who call anyone who doesn’t kiss their asses and worship them only ever changes for the worse.

If you enjoy this post you may also enjoy So You Wanna Start A Band? or So You Wanna Join A Band?