The Ultimate Driving Mixtape*


I’m pretty sure there’s something wrong with my mental state. I’m off in the head.

For the past month and a half, my girlfriend has been in the hospital and I’ve managed to visit her three or four times a week. This is a bit of an inconvenience as she’s about an hour drive away**.

So last week I took a vacation day… to drive two hours in the other direction and take an introduction to solar energy systems and design class in the southern part of the state. It wasn’t until I was cruising back on the highway that I realized this isn’t something most people do. In fact, most people would probably say I’m in desperate need of a psychiatrist.

And after I finish installing these solar panels and save on my electric bill I’ll make an appointment.

The insane part is that I actually enjoy the drive. Southern Ohio/Northern West Virginia is filled with beautiful scenery. It was a gorgeous day, and I got to enjoy it in my own way.

The best part is that my new*^ car has one of those newfangled ‘radio’ contraptions so I was able to listen to music the whole way. When I needed a break from the Creedence CD I brought along I was able to scan through the stations and usually land on something descent that made time pass a little quicker.

This got me thinking “what would be on the ultimate driving playlist?” And because one of my hobbies is blogging I had to turn it into something.

Granted, most of this is low hanging fruit, but give me a break; I’ve been doing a lot of driving lately.


Tom Cochran “Life is a Highway”

The Rolling Stones “Gimme Shelter”

The Carpenters “Superstar”

 

Beastie Boys “No Sleep Till Brooklyn”

AC/DC “Highway to Hell”

Elton John “Tiny Dancer”

 

 

Meat Loaf “Bat Out Of Hell”

Heart “Barracuda”

 

Jimi Hendrix “All Along The Watchtower”

Red Hot Chili Peppers “Soul 2 Squeeze”

Queen “Bohemian Rhapsody”

 

So I know all of your typing fingers are burning up right now to tell me which I missed. And that’s great! I purposely left enough space on this virtual disc for a little feedback. That’s what comments are for.

Have at ‘er!


 

* I’m sure someone has already done this post in a different way, but now it’s my turn!

**But she’s totally worth it.

*^Actually, it’s a year older than my previous vehicle, but the owner took much better care of it so it’s like a new car.

 

Suicide Setlist


I recently stumbled upon some articles I wrote for Buzzbin a few years ago that were never published. Hopefully you will find them more interesting and humorous than that damn editor did!

Suicide Setlist

If you’re anything like me music is always playing in the background. You listen to music while you cook and eat, read and write, study and exercise. But while everyone knows that Ministry is one of the best bands to work out to and Al Green is the best for romance, what songs provide the best soundtrack for suicide? Here I offer several suggestions and hope you take me up on the advice if you ever decide to off yourself. So kick back, pop some sleeping pills, drink some wine, and enjoy my suicide setlist.

Celine Dion “My Heart will go On”– It should provide some comfort to know that even in death your heart will linger, much like a fart in a poorly ventilated room.

Kid Rock hangingKid Rock “All Summer Long”– The first time I heard this song I was cruising down the highway so I cranked it up to jam along with “Werewolves of London.” When I realized I was listening to Kid Rock I became so despondent I nearly drove my car off a bridge.

Nirvana “Milk it”– Yeah, you knew Kurt was gonna show up on this list. Anyone still thinking he was murdered should listen to the lyrics of this song where he sings “look on the bright side is suicide.”

System of a Down “B.Y.O.B”– The perfect song to pump you up for your mission after you strap that bomb to your chest.

Soundgarden “Ty Cobb”– If you’re angry at the world and want your last comment to be “Fuck you all” you should probably put this song on. You could just leave a note but I think hearing Chris Cornell sing the words packs a better punch.

Mudvayne “Dig”– If you’re not sure about how to do it, this tune offers plenty of great suggestions.

Loudon Wainwright III “Unrequited to the Nth Degree”– This song is about suicide, but it’s extremely funny so I wouldn’t suggest it to anyone planning on shooting themselves.

The Doors “The End”– Do I really need to explain this one?

Ozzy Osbourne “Suicide Solution”– Due to the subliminal messages hidden in this song which makes all listeners kill themselves I wouldn’t suggest that anyone not planning on killing themselves ever listen to it.

Nine Inch Nails “The Downward Spiral”– I’m not sure if this song is about killing yourself or killing someone else. Either way it seems appropriate for this list.

Anything by Alice in Chains– I love Alice but they are extremely depressing.

Deep Blue Something “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”- I just include this song because of my love of Audrey Hepburn, and the fact that I’ll never be able to fuck her without being a necrophiliac.

Jane’s Addiction “Mountain Song” or Red Hot Chili Peppers “Suck My Kiss”– Doesn’t it depress you to know that no matter how hard you try you’ll never be nearly as cool as these guys?

The Charlie Daniels Band “The Devil went down to Georgia”– If you kill yourself you’ll go to hell, so you might as well get used to Satan’s fiddle playing ASAP (I always thought he blew Johnny out of the water in this tune).

Bye bye bye cruel world!

Bye bye bye cruel world!

The Carpenters “Superstar”– Fucking rock stars and their one night stands. He said he’d be coming back this way again, baby…

NSYNC “Bye Bye Bye”– I refuse to live in a world where Joey Fatone is a millionaire.

Acid Bath “Scream of the Butterfly”– Wait… that’s the perfect song for an abortion, not a suicide.

Pink Floyd “Goodbye Cruel World”