Are You Lost XX


I like to think it’s because I’m a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music and politics.Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading

Of course, what really happens is people type crazy shit into Google and somehow end up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

Turns out it’s mostly a desire to see Stevie Nicks naked.


trump can suck a giant bag of dicks – Yes, indeed he can.

donald trump eats a big bag of dicks – I would like to see this. Is it on YouTube?

women of gwar nude

 

What is wrong with humanity?

kim dylla hot – Didn’t she play Vulvatron in GWAR? I’ve never seen the name of a member of GWAR next to the word hot unless it was the sentence “Boy, those crazy rubber suits GWAR wear must be really hot because they all stink worse than a gym locker room’s nutsack from all the sweat soaked into them.”

 

taylor momsen bare – Still looking.

stevie nicks see through naked – So many people want to see Stevie Nicks naked for some reason… and they all end up on this blog.

stevie nicks toes

stevie nicks nackt

trim the fat on albums melon collie and the infinite sadness – If only I could. But what if you did have a time machine and could go back and do it? What would the ramifications be? We might be living in some alternate universe where the Smashing Pumpkins didn’t release a few great albums then a lot of really horrible ones.

Why do I put myself through this?

porn model at juggalo concert – Eww. What porn model would that be? I don’t even want to know. Next question…

brad wilk nude – What? How did this guy get here? 

rock on the range 2017 may 21st flash tits woman

mypornsnap teen

Are You Lost 17


Picard Why would you google thatI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew. And I could use an easy week to get caught up on my reading.

alice in chains untold story audible torrents – Don’t you hate when you’re looking for a free eBook download and you wind up on review site instead?

https://tomsin83.wordpress.com/tag/rock-on-the-range/ – Did somebody actually type all of this in?

recently deceased motorhead leader – You’d think they could have just typed in Motorhead and clicked on ‘News’ and they’d have found what they were looking for.

Satanic in South Africa

Satanism taking over Africa

satanic in tanzania

beavis and butthead darling nikki – This search led someone to my site because of my Best Soundtracks post which featured The Beavis & Butthead Experience and Prince’s Purple Rain (which featured the song “Darling Nikki”). What they were actually looking for is anyone’s guess.

ozzy osbourne draw

what is wrong with axl roses leg/whats wrong with axl rose foot/what is wrong with axl rose’s face

what’s new with axl rose – I think pretty much anyone looking for updates on Axl Rose or any of his appendages has stopped by my site at some point. 

THE NUDE SECTION I get a lot of people looking for nude pictures. A lot. It’s probably because I have actually posted pictures of certain artists naked. But I’d never sink so low to post what these people are looking for. Haha… Just kidding.

youngest – I can only assume this is something sexual.

スティービーニックス (Stevie Nicks in Japanese) – I hope it doesn’t seem racist that I put this search term in with the people looking for nude photos. It’s not because I think all Japanese people are looking for internet porn, it’s just that everyone searching for Stevie Nicks that ends up on my site is looking for pictures of her nude.

Strategically edited nude photo of Peter Steelestevie nicks nude naked – Or nude naked.

slipknot naked – All 9 members?

female heavy metal singers that posed nude – I actually don’t know of any female heavy metal singers who have posed nude. In fact there’s only one heavy metal singer I know of that has posed nude. 

topless metal girls

nude robot girl 3d – There really is a fetish for everything

Honestly, I think I won the SEO game by having a post titled “What is Wrong With Axl Rose?” that’s brought me more traffic than just about everything else combined. Plus, it hasn’t hurt that I once posted a nude photo of Stevie Nicks.

Are You Lost 15


Picard Why would you google thatI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

foto king scream oliver – This actually brought 7 views to my site. How did that happen?

rock rap band wallpapers hd free

what’s wrong with axl’s arm – Too much masturbation?

guitarist metal girl naked

adult content warning

parental advisory picture editor

This has been my desktop background for a while now.

the pretty reckless sexy picture – You’ll have to be more specific than that. Every time I see a picture of Taylor Momsen she looks sexy.

slayer reggae – A fine example of an oxymoron.

female dethklok tribute band

marilyn manson 1994 immagini – Is the immagini something like the Illuminati? I don’t keep up with these things.

rage against the machine nude song

juggaloos gatherings – This sounds like something birdwatchers would be interested in.

Joey Jordison's Cock

Joey Jordison’s Cock

joey jordison penis – I think I saw one of these on eBay.

heavy metal cds you could buy from bmg music club

are their naked people at rocking on the range – Probably somewhere.

 

 

 

Are You Lost 12


1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

taboo nudity – Isn’t all nudity taboo?lovesexy

nude techno album cover

stevie nicks greatest hits wallpaper

axl rose agora

guns roses stew – I wonder what this would taste like.

rock on the range nude tumblr

wheelchair crowd surfing

rock on the range wet t shirts tumblr

0511-vulvatron-getty-4 kim dyllakim dylla naked/ kim dylla nude/ kim dylla toppless – I’m sure she’s a very lovely girl, but why would you want to see any member of GWAR naked?

nude and naket l kinr uar girt – Does any body know what language this is?

icp mr bungle

 

maria brink insane clown posse

little richard/manson – I’m not sure, but I may be the only person to ever compare Little Richard to Marilyn Manson.

 

björk nude – this makes a little more sense than the Kim Dylla searches. Not much more sense, but a little.

Rock on the Range 2009


2009 Rock on the RangeI was hoping to make it to Rock on the Range this year, but the ticket prices are a tad too high for me. Not to fear though, I’ll still cash in on the events popularity by digging up this unpublished review from the vault that I did way back in 2009. Hope you enjoy!

Columbus Crews stadium is close enough to the freeway that with the windows rolled down you can hear the bands playing on the way to the venue, which is great because you’re rocking before you’re parking. A gentleman with a couch on wheels pulled us to the front gate on a bicycle. Once inside we were surrounded by all the summer festival staples: bongs, t-shirts, overpriced food, portable toilets, and an ATM in a van. I loved the irony of seeing roaming beer vendors soliciting in the child play area. But we weren’t interested in elephant ears or $4 bottled water, we wanted rock! And rock we received.

I kicked off my day in a pit; from there it was a nonstop journey across three stages watching dozens of bands. The sky was overcast but anyone who’s ever been to an outdoor festival will tell you that this is preferential to blue skies. The clouds block out the sun’s heat and keep the day cool. Plus stage lights would have been asinine on a sunny day. The open-air stadium was a great place to see a show. The staircases and landings offered multiple views of the side stages. We even headed up to the nosebleed section and turned around to get a bird’s eye view.

Once Flyleaf took the main stage the clouds parted and the sun broke through, proving once and for all that Christian bands are good for something. But the clouds would not be deterred for long and soon the rains fell. Solid drops only lasted about five minutes but a light mist persisted throughout Chevelle’s set. The drizzle didn’t last long and a few women took the opportunity to remove their wet tops during All That Remains. (The singer for All That Remains tried to make a grand entrance by running onto and leaping on the stage. The rain made the stage a little slippery and he ended up slipping on his face). I usually have to shove dollars into garters to see so many boobies! The crowd was crazy at this show; I even saw a wheelchair that had to get in on the crowd surfing action.

After a scrape on the knee and a few kicks to the head we found some great seats for Alice in Chains. The question of the day was how well could the new guy sing these songs? William Duvall filled Layne Staley’s shoes so well he should be submitted to weekly drug screens. And even if he passes he should be sent to rehab! The only downside to seeing this classic band was that the wind blowing through the arena prevented me from holding up my lighter during “Rooster.” (During which they were joined by Duff McKagan)

After ten straight hours of bouncing back and forth between the stages and having to pick and choose between bands playing simultaneously it was nice to relax a bit and check out the great view of the Columbus skyline the stadium offers. Once Slipknot hit the stage the night was over. We sat in the bleachers and watched the crowd bounce back and forth, savoring the last moments of our day at Rock on the Range.

 

Are You Lost, Se7en?


1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nI’d like to think that because I’m such a great writer people are coming to read about my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into search engines and ending up here. After reading fellow blogger Mike Delano’s posts about what search terms lead folks to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

porn below 15 years age – Are you looking for pornographic images of people under 15 years old or pornographic images of people over the age of 18 that were done no later than 1999?

heavy rubber boot girl

marilyn manson mike patton – Sounds like a pretty cool collaboration to me

ewan mcgregor alice in chains – This one not so much.

Columbus skyline from Crew Stadium

Columbus skyline from Crew Stadium

columbus skyline – someone had to be really bored to google this.

sarah ball nude

bühler care icons

young taboo lnaturist nudism forbidden

jerry cantrell’s penis – After I managed to stop laughing and shouting ‘why would you search for that!’ I did a google search and found out that there is actually a lot of buzz about this at the moment… I’m learning so many awful things about Alice in Chains doing this blog.

shit horrible

shit horrible

i can’t believe a girl is playing me metallica – Is this their new single? Or was some guy so surprised a girl was playing Metallica for him that his first reaction was to google it?

shit horrible

tom arraya naked – ?????WHY????!!!!???

joey jordison naked

in this moment band is all gimmick – I’d disagree. 75% tops.

fleetwood metal girls naked?

fleetwood metal girls naked?

helluva fight live

sarah palin – It bothers me more that a google search for Sarah Palin led someone to my blog than it does that people searching for kiddie porn end up here.

fleetwood metal girls naked – Would you believe it’s easier to find nude pictures of Stevie Nicks on Google than to find pictures of her in her underwear?

ray charles racist rap music

 

The Pretty Reckless – Going To Hell


pretty-reckless-going-to-hellThe Pretty Reckless – Going To Hell (2014)

I’ve never considered myself a gentleman. As to blonds, brunettes or redheads I never had much of a preference; but I seem to be writing a lot about blonds. I’ve covered In This Moment, Miley Cyrus, Courtney Love, Pink and Miss Piggy. Wait… not Miss Piggy. To only one redhead, Shirley Manson.

And now, the next blond… Taylor Momsen

I’m really curious as to whether I’m the only person who is really getting into the Pretty Reckless. Every time I suggest going to see them live in October (for only $25) the guys in my band look at me like I’ve sprouted an extra head. Billboard says they topped at #5, but have been dropping steadily since. The guys at work who introduced me to the band featuring Cindy Lou Who from the live action “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” keep telling me not to quit my day job when I sing along with the album.

So what gives?

While Taylor Momsen is an actress-turned-singer much like Miley Cyrus, the similarities end there. Well, except for the being blond and the flashing of the tits. but THAT’s where the similarities end. The biggest difference is The Pretty Reckless are a pretty damn good rock and roll band. And while you can’t say that they’re breaking any new ground, they have the youthful energy, vigor and appetite that I find irresistible.

“Heaven Knows” strikes me as something of a Queen rip off. Stomp/clap drums and a singalong chorus remind me a lot of “We Will Rock You” and while I’m not going to give bonus points for the lyrics (I’m not even sure what the hell this song is about) this song will get stuck in your head. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Choosing “Fucked Up World” as the second single seems a ballsy move, until they rename is “Messed Up World.” Then it makes perfect sense. I can’t say I care much for the edited version though, it sounds like they just cut out “Fucked” and added “Messed” with cheap software and no concern for how the flow of the song is interrupted. Just changing that one word really messes the whole song up.

And you can’t argue that there are some really badass riffs on this album. “Going to Hell,” “Sweet Things,” “Why’d You Bring A Shotgun To The Party” and the country-tinged “Absolution” all contain some monster guitar licks.

There are also a few great acoustic/slower numbers like “House on a Hill,” “Blame Me” and “Waiting for a Friend” which features the best lyric on the album:

“My head is like a prison cell
I’m all by myself
I’m waiting for my friend
To come and break me out”

But above all the thing I love the most about The Pretty Reckless is Momsen’s smoky voice. Or maybe it’s the hot body…

I like to think I’m deep and don’t base my musical tastes on appearance but…

This has been my desktop background for a while now.

This has been my desktop background for a while now.