The Best Drummers


drum-2I’m not a huge fan of the “Name Four Musicians to Form Your Dream Super Group” game. I usually just rattle off the members of Alice in Chains or Tool. Sometimes it’s fun to pick a trio or quintet and add or subtract a member, but that was never my game.

I do really enjoy “Best of…” lists though. And I thought it would be a good idea to do some for this blog. That’s not because I’m running out of ideas or anything. I swear I’m not. I’ve got tons of ideas. Make sure you check in next week when I do this with Bass Players.

 

Brooks Wackerman (Bad Religion, Suicidal Tendencies) – Wackerman lands on this list not only because of his awesome chops and stamina, but also for his great last name. It’s like his ancestors knew that someday one of their brood would become the drummer for a great punk band so they picked the coolest surname they could think of.

Frank Beard (ZZ Top) – Yet again, here is a man who’s name is as great as his ability to keep a beat. He gets bonus points for being the guy without a beard but having the name beard. God, will that ever get old?

Jimmy Chamberlain (The Smashing Pumpkins) – The best of the pumpkins if you want my opinion. And you must or you wouldn’t be reading this.

sexy drum machineMax Weinberg (E Street Band, Meat Loaf, Max Weinberg 7) – I had to add someone to make this list ten names. He was the most obvious choice.

A Drum Machine (Too Many To Name) – I was in a band with one of these for a while and I have a ton of praise for these guys. He was always on time (both for and during practice), never got too drunk to play, never had girlfriend drama and never threatened to quit. Aside from his lack of stage presence and sleeping with my old lady he was perfect.

Tommy Ramone/Marky Ramone (The Ramones) – I’m not sure if the trophy should go to Tommy for inventing the Ramones’ drum beat or to Marky for perfecting it.

Raymond Herrera (Fear Factory) – I’ll just let his feet do the talking:

 

Tim ‘Herb’ Alexander (Primus) – Both he and Larry LaLonde are pure geniuses just for being able to work with Les Claypool.

Sean Kinney (Alice in Chains, Jerry Cantrell) – Do you know anyone else who could come up with those great intros to “Angry Chair” and “No Excuses”? I don’t.

Neil Peart (Rush) – I’m honestly not a huge fan of Rush. I like them, but I can’t say I love them. Still, Neil deserves a spot on this list.

Dave Grohl (Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Queens of the Stone Age, Nine Inch Nails, Probot, Scream) – I read him saying in an interview once that he is completely overrated as a drummer. And that may be true. He isn’t flashy, over the top or as machine gun fast as some other guys. But he has been very prolific as a timekeeper and has a knack for playing beats that accentuate the song without overpowering it. Sorry dude, you may be the best drummer ever.

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The Best Bass Players


Page OneI’m not a huge fan of the “What Four Musicians Form Your Dream Super Group” game. I usually just rattle off the members of Alice in Chains or Tool. Sometimes I pick a trio or quintet and add or subtract a member, but that was never my game.

I do really enjoy “Best of…” lists though. And I thought it would be a good idea to do some for this blog.

I do realize I could just call this “My Favorite Bass Players,” but I worry that would take all of the controversy out of it. Just rest assured that I did a lot of research into my personal preferences to compile this list. It was very scientific.

Billy Gould (Faith No More) – He’s not an extremely flashy bass player, but every so often you get a bit of flare that lets you know his chops could keep up with the best of them. I’ve always felt it takes more to restrain and play for the song than to shred.

Duff McKagan (Guns n’ Roses, Velvet Revolver) – McKagan isn’t really a bass player. He’s more like a rhythm guitar player who only has four really fat strings.

Jonathan Wolff (The Guy Who Did The Music for “Seinfeld”) – Really, he did all of that with a synthesizer. But I think he still deserves a place on this list.

Les Claypool (Primus, Flying Frog Brigade, Oysterhead, etc.) – Perhaps the only instance of a lead bass player in popular music. There are a few other’s who can turn the bass into the main instrument on the song, but Claypool is the only one whose album I ever bought.

 

Mike Inez (Alice in Chains, Ozzy Osbourne, Black Label Society) – You may think I put him on this list because of my AIC fandom, but you would be mistaken. Inez makes his way to this list for being credited with “Inspiration and Musical Direction” on Ozzy’s No More Tears album. Seriously, how fucking awesome do you have to be to get that credit on that album?

Geezer Butler (Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne, G//Z/R) – But even with as awesome as Mike Inez is, he’s still lower on the list than Ozzy’s other main squeeze of a bass player. Geezer gets bonus points for writing some pretty awesome lyrics too.

Ryan Martinie (Mudvayne) – Mudvayne get’s a pretty bad rap for being lumped together with nu metal, but when it comes down to it they’re some pretty bad-ass musicians. And the bass player is the one who manages to consistently wow me.

Cliff Burton (Metallica) – You may think I put him on this list for being such a virtuoso and shredding all over the neck and doing stuff that people confused for guitar solos, but you’re wrong. Much like children, bass players should be seen and not heard.

The dude from AC/DC (AC/DC) – Who is that guy? Does he really exist? I know he’s been in the band for a while, but I really can’t think of his name. Like, we all know Angus and Brian Johnson. Then you have Malcolm there in the background and the drummer who does meth and tries to hire hit men. But who’s the bass player? In fact, I may be wrong here. AC/DC might not even have a bass player.

The Horror... The Horror.

The Horror… The Horror.

The dude from the White Stripes (The White Stripes, Local H, The Doors) – The greatest bass players should not only not be heard or seen, they should not even exist! Come one, who really cares about bass players anyway?

Unhappy Groundhog Day


So I’ve just gotten word that Punxsutawney Phil has seen his shadow and we’re in for six weeks of winter.

As a way to try and brighten your day I’ll share this Primus video with you…

And remember, auto correct wants to change Punxsutawney to Subcutaneous.

Most Overrated Bands


Slayer – Slayer is so overrated that you hear people ask for them at every rock concert you’ve ever gone to or will go to even though they’re not there. I’ve been to 4 Ozzfests, none of which featured Slayer, and every one had some guy holding a Slayer banner yelling “SLAYER!!!”

Juggalos 4 life.

Juggalos 4 life.

Insane Clown Posse – There’s a time and a place for ICP; it’s called junior high school.

Mushroomhead – Just a heads up: If you’re ever in Northeast Ohio don’t mention Mushroomhead. If you do someone you don’t want to talk to will start a conversation with you about their Halloween show or how his or her band opened for them one time or how they were so much better back when they were a local act.

To read what the rest of the world thinks of them read the end of this or this

Tool – Don’t get me wrong, I love Tool. But I’m getting really fucking sick of my bass player doing the intro to “Sober” at EVERY! FUCKING! PRACTICE!

Any of Les Claypool’s Side Projects – All of Mike Patton’s side projects would have made it onto this list except I recently discovered that I enjoy Mr. Bungle.

Kanye West – Didn’t this dude release one song several years ago? Why do I keep hearing about him? What the hell is a ‘Yeezus’?

Psychostick – These guys might be the best band in the world, but I wouldn’t know. Their fans ruin them by constantly talking about how they’re the best band in the world.

Apparently now you're considered a musician to play the mixer.

Apparently now you’re considered a musician to play the mixer.

Dubstep – Whenever I come across someone who says, “I only listen to Dubstep” I always wonder what they listened to 2 years ago.

Miley Cyrus – Sure, she’s a marketing genius and we all hate her because she’s young, beautiful, rich and doesn’t have to wear clothes like the rest of us. But her music is pretty horrible. Good luck watching this without hitting mute:

 

 

Metallica – Personal opinion here – Metallica is not the greatest heavy metal band in the world. Scientific fact here – Metallica is not the heaviest metal band in the world. What Metallica is is the most bastard friendly metal band in the world. That’s why every douche-bag and twat-waffle I work with who wants me to think they’re cool is always going on about how much they love Metallica. Be different for God’s sake!