Price Check


In case you somehow missed it, one of Donald Trump’s main proposals for his first budget is to increase defense spending by $54 billion. I guess it’s not enough that we spend as much as the next seven highest spending countries (or about the nominal GDP of Switzerland).

 
We need to spend more than the next NINE countries! Let’s spend as much as Saudi Arabia’s economy!

 
And can’t stop wondering: Can you put a price on peace?

 

It’s at least $700 billion.

 

 

 

Are You Lost 16


Picard Why would you google thatI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

flyleaf flyleaf – You could probably just type in ‘Flyleaf’ if you were looking for the self titled EP.

groundswell band

Пит вентц с голубыми волосами (Pete Wentz with blue hair) – Usually I’m happy to get international traffic and learn about other languages, but please don’t come back here.

marilyn manson penis – Is this going to be available at Hustler stores?

very sad lil girl cry no boddy cr – My favorite searches are misspelled and unintelligible ones. What the hell are you looking for? Didn’t it show any suggestions? 

The kind of girl you want to take home to Mom.

The kind of girl you want to take home to Mom.

juggalo girl

screamo chick – How do you tell the difference between a screamo chick and a screamo dude? That wasn’t a joke, I’m really curious to find out.

i like rap music, because – This seems like a kid looking for some help with a report due at school tomorrow.

crow soundtrack back

maria brink latest

THE NUDE SECTION I get a lot of people looking for nude pictures here. A lot. It’s probably because I have actually posted pictures of certain artists naked. But I’d never sink so low to post what these people are looking for.

Haha… Just kidding.

screamo rock nude – This must be one of those newfangled genres that I still haven’t heard.

maria brink porn nudes

Vic-Rattlehead-fire-crotch-sexy-hot-shirtless-naked-assjoey jordison naked

megadeth nude – I understand wanting to see Stevie Nicks, Maria Brink and Taylor Momsen in the buff, but Dave Mustaine? Why? Why? WHY? Now I’m going to be thinking about his bare freckly ass all day you bastard. 

pretty reckless sexy – I love how there’s a long space there. I like to think it conveys that ‘sexy’ is just an afterthought, but it could mean just about anyting. What do you think?

 

The Best Guitarists


guitarist-on-stageI really enjoy “Best of…” lists. And I never shy away from the chance to do one for my blog. This one is rather difficult to pull off though. I mean, how do you compare Jimi Hendrix and George Harrison? They’re both great guitarists, but it’s like comparing your favorite burger to your favorite doughnut.

I’m going to try anyway.

I do realize I could just call this “My Personal Favorite Guitar Players,” but I worry that would take away all the controversy and I really enjoy when people comment about how I forget someone. Just rest assured that I did a lot of research into my personal preferences to compile this list. It was very scientific.

 

Johnny Ramone (The Ramones) – He may not have been the most skilled palyer, but not many musicians have had the impact he did. Before Johnny no one played guitar solely with fast down picking. After him, an entire genre of music that did nothing else was born.

Tom Morello (Rage Against the Machine, Audioslave, Solo) – He’s definitely not a traditional soloist, but he stands out in a crowd.

Jerry Cantrell (Alice in Chains, Solo) – I’m sure being the primary songwriter for his band forces him to look at the guitar in a different manner than someone who composes as part of a group. His solos always feel like they belong in the song and were written to make it just a little better.

Dimebag Darrell (Pantera, Damageplan) – One of the best guitar solos of all time starts at 3:50

 

Randy Rhoads (Quiet Riot, Ozzy Osbourne) – A Randy Rhoads solo disc would have been awesome wouldn’t it? He was amazing at writing these great instrumental songs – but within the songs that he was playing with Ozzy.

Dave Mustaine & Marty Friedman (Megadeth 1990-99) I’m not sure who was doing what in the band at the time. I’m not that interested really, but I know they made one helluva team.

John 5 (Solo, Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, Two) – So far there’s only been one guitarist able to maintain my interest throughout an album and/or live show by just playing his guitar. I should probably check out Vai or Satriani sometime to see how they compare, but I’m pretty sure Mr. 5 will always be my favorite shredder.

George Harrison (The Beatles, Solo) – He’s definitely not the flashiest or speediest musician on this list, but he always seemed to know the right notes to play. Come on, could you imagine Mick Mars doing a solo on “Helter Skelter”? Or Steve Vai doing “Hey Bulldog”? Or Type O Negative doing a Beatles melody. (You don’t have to here)

Photo Courtesy of Aces High Photography LLC

Photo Courtesy of Aces High Photography LLC

Jimi Hendrix (Solo, Band of Gypsys) – It really doesn’t seem right to include Hendrix on this list. He doesn’t come off as a guitar player to me. He really just sang through the instrument and like it was a part of his body. His voice and gyrating hips were his instrument, the guitar was just an extension of his body.

Dave Gilmour (Pink Floyd, Solo) – “Dave Gilmore can do more with one note than most guitar players can do with the entire fret board” (That’s a quote I read from Dave Mustaine in an old issue of guitar world. Never have truer words been spoken.

 

 

For more of these lists check out:

The Best Bassists

The Best Drummers

Are You Lost 9


1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nI’d like to think that because I’m such a great writer people are coming to read about my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into search engines and ending up here. After reading fellow blogger Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead folks to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

joan jett gay – She seems pretty happy.

keith richards friends with al jourgensen – Not yet, but like cockroaches and twinkies, they are expected to survive a nuclear holocaust.

Here you go old dude who figured out how to use the internet properly.

Here you go old dude who figured out how to use the internet properly.

porno layne staley – ewww

joan staley tits – Now? Or 1958?

black gives way to blue better than devil put dinosaurs here – I don’t think so.

acid bath song called blue something – “Venus Blue”

danzig shirtless Gee, how long did you have to search to find this?

penis stew bmg – ewww

organ grinder tutorial manson keyboard

how old is maria brink – Old enough to be your mother.

american musical supply catalog with george harrison on the cover

Vic Rattlehead talk to Godmegadeth’s religion

sara x mills naked fully – I actually looked for this on google for a minute before I realized that if the search brought them here… I’m probably not going to find it either.

bad religon hark the yuletide youtube

 

Original Motion Picture Soundtrack ‘The Crow’


Platinum Anniversary Album Series

Here’s my latest entry in a series on albums that still rock me 20 years after their release.

The biggest influence on my musical preference after ‘Black Hole Sun’ came from a mix up with a BMG order.

BMG AdYou see children, back in the 90’s magazines would occasionally come with advertisements for music clubs like BMG or Columbia House. The way these clubs worked was that they would send you a bunch of CD’s for a penny (plus Shipping and Handling) in exchange for a commitment from you to buy a few more CD’s at the regular club price over the next few years. I always liked the deal. Plus they would always throw in bonus deals like ‘buy this months featured selection and get 2 more free.’ The only trouble was the way they would automatically send the featured selection and you would have to send it back if you didn’t want it.

Anyway… I digress.

After receiving Mom’s permission I ordered a batch and joined the BMG music club. Because I was such a good boy I ordered mainly ‘Mother Approved’ discs. Stuff that wouldn’t ruffle too many feathers in our mobile home with paper thin walls. I remember ordering The Tractors CD for my brother (He loved their hit “Baby Likes To Rock It Like A Boogie Woogie Choo-Choo Train“) and the self titled Blues Traveler album. Somehow, whether from my sloppy handwriting or a mistake at the shipping department, I received two albums I didn’t order: Megadeth’s Youthanasia and the soundtrack to The Crow. I was going to send them back with a letter asking for the ones I originally ordered, but no one wanted to give me a ride to the post office and Vic Rattlehead clothes pinning those babes up just looked so damn cool.

The-Crow-SoundtrackOriginal Motion Picture Soundtrack The Crow (29 March 1994)

Much like the film and graphic novel it’s based upon, the soundtrack to The Crow is really fucking dark. It begins, appropriately enough, with the sounds of birds (I believe they’re seagulls) In The Cure’s “Burn.” They provide a stellar opening with their echoey guitars and single note leads.

I’ve never heard Machines of Loving Grace anywhere but on this album, but “Golgotha Temple Blues” is one of my favorites. The slinky, sliding bass line propels this song down some strange back alleys better left untrod. But I feel like a better person for exploring them.

Stone Temple Pilot’s “Big Empty” seems a bit out of place here. It’s the only song that was a hit and the only one to have appeared on another album. As such, I think it would be more appropriate to review this track along with the album Purple. which I’m not going to do here.

The cover of Joy Division’s “Dead Souls” by Nine Inch Nails is another favorite. This album really created my interest in industrial music, but it created a skewed view of the genre by giving me songs with great bass lines and screeching guitar riffs instead of computer blips and bloops.

Rage Against the Machine provide their trademarked rap-metal with some great riffs, socially conscious lyrics and… a traditional solo from Tom Morello? It’s weird to think of it, but that dude can really shred.

“Color Me Once” is by far my favorite song on this album. From the quiet single note intro to the wah drenched outro I love every second. My favorite part is the lyrics, which make absolutely no sense to me, and the way they’re sung.

From there the album goes on a downhill slide of B-sides. The only the remaining standout tracks are the dance rock “Slip Slide Melting” by For Love Not Lisa and the alterna-pop “Time Baby III” by Medicine. Other than that the songs are pretty much stock tunes that didn’t fit onto the other bands’ albums.

I’m not even really a big fan of Jane Siberry’s “It Can’t Rain All The Time” which was incorporated into the film as a song Eric Draven’s band plays. Still, the first half is so great that even if side two slouches a bit it’s still a killer album.

the-crow-soundtrack-backFor more Platinum Anniversary Albums:

Part 6: Korn-Korn

Part 5: Marilyn Manson- Portrait of an American Family

Part 4: The Summer Nationals Tour 2014 

Part 3: Hole – Live Through This

Part 2: Soundgarden – Superunknown

Part 1: Weezer – The Blue Album

 

 

The Most HATED bands


I love doing list posts. They’re so easy! And I don’t have to think about them too much! The only bad thing is that I can’t think of enough lists to come up with.

Any suggestions?

Avril Lavigne/Green Day – Really, anyone who ever claims to be ‘Punk Rock’ is hated and called a poser. Because if there’s one thing punks hate more than authority, it’s punk.

Prince – I’m not sure why Prince gets such a bad rap. The dude is a musical genius.

U2 – I don’t really care for their music, but also don’t harbor the animosity most seem to have for them. Of course, I don’t have the new iPhone.

Juggalos 4 life.

Juggalos 4 life.

Miley Cyrus – I still stand by what I said about her in Most Overrated Bands: “We all hate her because she’s young, beautiful, rich and doesn’t have to wear clothes like the rest of us.”

Insane Clown Posse/Limp Bizkit – Personally, I find it extremely hard to seriously hate these bands. Or take them serious in any manner.

Creed – If there is anything worse than Christian Rock, it’s pseudo-Christian rock. It’s one thing to sell out, but I like to think Hell holds special terrors for rockers who tone down their message to attain super stardom.

Megadeth – I really like Megadeth’s music. But boy, has Dave Mustaine gone off the deep end. It just goes to show that if there’s one thing worse than Creed; it’s born-again Creed.

Marilyn Manson – Wait, no one hates Marilyn Manson anymore.

Whenever you're having a bad day say to yourself, "At least I'm not in Nickelback."

Whenever you’re having a bad day you can just say to yourself, “At least I’m not in Nickelback.”

Metallica – After the whole Napster, St. Anger and documentary where Lars sells that painting for more money than I’ll make in two life times I hate Metallica as much as Dave Mustaine does.

Guns and Roses

Nickelback – Nickelback sucks so bad even ISIS, al-Qaeda and Ebola won’t admit to listening to them.