Happy Labor Day


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Merry Christmas


I think it’s really weird that one of the most popular songwriting teams in history broke up and one produced my favorite Christmas song of all time:

 

And the other one did this piece of shit:

Bands That Need To Release New Albums


Faith_No_More_-_Sol_Invictus_Album_CoverRemember the days when bands would release an album twice every year and a few non-album singles to go along with them? Neither do I. I was born in 1983, long after rock and roll became big business and the fat cats realized they could make more money by only ponying out a new album ever 2 years. But that was 30 years ago and now we’re lucky to get a new album every 2 years. I haven’t seen a new album from some of my favorite artists in what feels like forever.

Seriously, why hasn’t John Lennon released an album of new music IN MY ENTIRE LIFETIME!

With Faith No More set to release their first new album in 18 years on May 19th, I thought it would be fun to take a look at a few other bands who haven’t given us any new material in a while and really need to make another album.

The Devil Put Dinosaurs HereAlice in Chains (2013) – It hasn’t been that long since AiC released The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here, but given the fact that we’ve only had 5 full lengths from them in the past 25 years I think they need to make up for lost time.

Fiona Apple (2012) – Yet again, the wait hasn’t been extremely long but we only have 4 full lengths to enjoy and the last one wasn’t all that enjoyable. Come on, we know you can do better than just beating on pots and pans. Who do you think you are Yoko Ono?

Soundgarden (2012) – I would have been happy to wait for a while after the dismal King Animal, but the news that Chris Cornell was working on a solo album earned Soundgarden a spot on this list. Yes Chris, you’re a very sexy man, but I’d much rather hear a new Soundgarden album than some crap you have Timberland or Macklemore produce.

Mudvayne (2009) – I really wish Hellyeah would change their name to Fuckno and go on hiatus long enough for Mudvayne to release a new album.

Metallica (2008) – Hahaha. Just kidding. Metallica have spent most of their career showing us why they should never release a new album.

10428037_10206367374689653_4174479858327646419_nTool (2006) – The Beatles recording career lasted from 1963-1970. The wait for the next Tool album has now stretched longer than that.

The Descendants (2004) – What happened to these guys? Did Milo do some Post Graduate work?

 

Butthole Surfers (2001) – I guess the waves just aren’t as good in the nether regions any more.

Days of the New (2001) – Unlike a lot of the other bands on this list, Days of the New have been working on the new album since the last one. I’m not sure if Travis Meeks is trying to beat Axl Rose’s record for longest wait between releases, but Days of the New IV is taking on Chinese Democracy-ish status.

Violent Femmes (2000) – I actually conceived and started this post three months ago. That was before they released a new EP on Record Store Day and signed up for a tour with Barenaked Ladies. So rejoice! Not all bands who seemed to have vanished into the void are gone. Go check them out this summer with Barenaked Ladies. Or do like I plan to and leave after their set. ‘One Week’ may sound better live, but I’m not taking that chance.

 

 

 

You’re Too Young To Remember Them


There are things I hate to hear. “You have to work this weekend,” is one of them. “Is it in yet?” is another.

But the thing I hate to hear more than anything else is “You’re too young to remember that band.”

Sure, I was born in 1983 so I never had the chance of listening to John Lennon, John Bonham, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Robert Johnson or a plethora of other musicians with ‘J’ names while they were still alive; but we still have recording technology.

No, I'm not going to play Slayer. Stop yelling that.

No, I’m not going to play Slayer. Stop yelling that.

Every time someone says “You’re too young to know that band,” I want to explain to them how a CD works. But I don’t really know how a CD works… something about a laser and don’t get scratches on the silver side. But there were still cassette tapes before them. And reel to reels, vinyl records, 8 tracks and Dictaphones.

As of this writing the oldest person in the world was born in 1898. That’s 21 years after Thomas Edison patented the Phonograph Cylinder. So ever that 116 year old Japanese woman can’t look down on the second oldest person and say “You’re too young to remember that.”

I’m sure there are some artists who never got to record, but thanks to technology I can enjoy music from Gene Ammons (1925-1974), Django Reinhardt (1910-1953) and even Eve 6 (1995-2004, 2007- Present)

So don’t tell me I’m to young to have heard Led Zeppelin or Dr. Hook you old drunk!