Are You Lost 18


Picard Why would you google thatI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew. And I could use an easy week to get caught up on my reading.

 

warning adult content – I actually don’t think I’ve ever posted this. Maybe I should have a button asking if viewers are 18 before entering.

volbeat satanic

ratm song quotes – “Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me!”

axl rose ribs – Did he get them removed to suck his own dick? Or did he open a BBQ joint? 

what shoes axl wearing 2016 – They took away the ones with laces a long time ago.

great southern shredder day 2016

rocko’s modern life shocked 

stage guitarist – Is this some sort of new prop artists are using? Maybe Lorde was looking for something to spice up her performance.

what is labor day – Seriously dude? What are you? Welsh?

 

Sorry ladies, this is the best I could find.

Sorry ladies, this is the best I could find.

THE NUDE SECTION I get a lot of people looking for nude pictures. A lot. It’s probably because I have actually posted pictures of certain artists naked. But I’d never sink so low to post what these people are looking for. Haha… Just kidding.

courtney love boobs – I’ve seen these several times completely on accident. why would anyone actually look for them?

easy a bag of dicks – I’ve asked several ex-girlfriends and they all concurred that it is easy to suck a bag of dicks. And Hillary Scott made it look so hard.

jerry cantrell naked

stevie nicks naked boobs

painted icp tits – I swear, this is probably where most of my traffic comes from.

pretty reckless sexy – Is this a question?

maria brink from in this moment sucking cock totally nude porn – As far as I know Maria Brink has never done porn. I’m not really into blondes myself, but she has a lot of people clamoring for that.

Only known picture of Wes Borland nude.

Only known picture of Wes Borland nude.

maria brink nude– Some are even willing to s p a c e  o u t words in a weird way to find nude pictures.

concert metal girl nude

wes borland nude

lollapalooza 2016 nudes

liza hernandez panama nude – I have no idea how this person got here.

young teen fuck

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Are You Lost 16


Picard Why would you google thatI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

flyleaf flyleaf – You could probably just type in ‘Flyleaf’ if you were looking for the self titled EP.

groundswell band

Пит вентц с голубыми волосами (Pete Wentz with blue hair) – Usually I’m happy to get international traffic and learn about other languages, but please don’t come back here.

marilyn manson penis – Is this going to be available at Hustler stores?

very sad lil girl cry no boddy cr – My favorite searches are misspelled and unintelligible ones. What the hell are you looking for? Didn’t it show any suggestions? 

The kind of girl you want to take home to Mom.

The kind of girl you want to take home to Mom.

juggalo girl

screamo chick – How do you tell the difference between a screamo chick and a screamo dude? That wasn’t a joke, I’m really curious to find out.

i like rap music, because – This seems like a kid looking for some help with a report due at school tomorrow.

crow soundtrack back

maria brink latest

THE NUDE SECTION I get a lot of people looking for nude pictures here. A lot. It’s probably because I have actually posted pictures of certain artists naked. But I’d never sink so low to post what these people are looking for.

Haha… Just kidding.

screamo rock nude – This must be one of those newfangled genres that I still haven’t heard.

maria brink porn nudes

Vic-Rattlehead-fire-crotch-sexy-hot-shirtless-naked-assjoey jordison naked

megadeth nude – I understand wanting to see Stevie Nicks, Maria Brink and Taylor Momsen in the buff, but Dave Mustaine? Why? Why? WHY? Now I’m going to be thinking about his bare freckly ass all day you bastard. 

pretty reckless sexy – I love how there’s a long space there. I like to think it conveys that ‘sexy’ is just an afterthought, but it could mean just about anyting. What do you think?

 

Are You Lost 14


Picard Why would you google thatI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

Jerry Cantrell's Tattoojerry cantrell tattoo

juggalos having sex

hottest juggalos

kim dylla toppless – Do you mean without baseball cards?

.all female tribute band to mortification

www stevie nicks naked pictures free porn xvideos.com – It’s supposed to be www. and then no spaces between any of the words. 

stevie nicks tits

Sarah Wreath. Not Nude

Sarah Wreath. Not Nude

sarah wreth nude – Did you mean Sarah Wreath?

essay about beep vs magnetic ticket – I’m not sure what you mean by that buddy. 

https://tomsin83.wordpress.com/tag/nudity/

site:wordpress.com nude naked nudity girl – That’s actually a pretty clever blog title. I may just change from The Audible Stew.

black-white-little-girl-crying-middle-fingergirl crying with bad finger

female middle finger tumblr

maria brink nude foto

maria brink all the way nude – would you settle for just partially nude?

ciplak.hit.muzik.nude

sis sucks moms tits – Not only do I not understand incest porn, I’m also not sure how Google managed to match that search with my site.

I Fuckin’ Miss Ozzfest and SOTU


 

At the beginning of this century there was an annual ritual called Ozzfest. What happened was that Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne would get together all of the great metal bands touring that year and put them together on an awesome bill. Then in 2005 another awesome fest called Sounds of the Underground began trekking across the country. Unfortunately by 2010 both of these awesome metal tours dried up and we were left with only Warped and a few sponsored by energy drink companies.

Ozzfest___Possessed_by_gomediaNow don’t get me wrong, I did make it to Mayhem Fest in 2009 and I enjoyed it. But Mayhem and Uproar don’t do nearly as good a job as Ozzfest or SOTU did of consistently booking bands that were worth the cover price every single year. They also can’t claim to have the same sort of impact on the genre of heavy metal music. Were it not for Ozzfest bands like Coal Chamber, Slipknot and Otep may never have achieved the level of popularity they have.

I want to say that the reason behind this has something to do with the rise of the New Wave of American Heavy Metal bands in the early aughts and the tendency of major labels to cash in on the trend, thereby ensuring that a young concertgoer like myself would have an interesting and pleasing plethora of bands to sate my highly refined palate.

And while I’m sure that argument would be true, that’s not the real problem.

2004demonThe real problem is that I’m old. I find myself watching bands occasionally and thinking, ‘damn, I would have loved these guys ten years ago.’ Sometimes I think ‘I don’t understand this. They’re just jumping around, screaming and banging on instruments.’ I also occasionally think ‘Gotta stay out of the pit. Gotta go to work in the morning.’

So while I saw and enjoyed nearly every awesome band that was touring from the year 2001-2009, these days I have trouble finding awesome bands to go see live. And I don’t think it’s because of a lack of awesome bands, I think it’s because of my heightened standards of what is awesome.

What are your thoughts? Do you still love going to shows or are you happy to stay at home and jam to Spotify? Do you find yourself tempted to drop the money for Uproar or pine for the days when you’d buy and Ozzfest ticket without even knowing the lineup?

Are You Lost 13


Picard Why would you google thatI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

stevie nicks nue – I’m really not sure when her new album comes out. I’m sure that’s what you were looking for.

The kind of girl you want to take home to Mom.

The kind of girl you want to take home to Mom.

stevie nicks topless cover

james root beard

rubberbootgirl

juggalo porn

maria brink hairstyle – Of all the weird search terms that have led people to this site, this is the one I’m most ashamed of.

imagenes de maria brink hot

sexy maria brink

мария бринк 2015 -I think they were looking for Maria Brink, but I’m not sure.

Was this the kind of nude metal chick you were looking for?

Was this the kind of nude metal chick you were looking for?

nude metal chicks

wonderland space

mushroomhead les claypool

kim dylla sexy and nude – That makes sense. Since you couldn’t find pictures of her sexy or nude, just try both!

axl rose nude

marilyn manson’s penis – What the hell is wrong with people?

 

Are You Lost 11


1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

i hate jocks with my religion – You should probably switch to Judaism.

riff solo hd wallpapers

joey jordison nude

Jerry Cantrell Dimebag Darrell picjerry cantrell’s family photos

dimebag darrell ghost seen

lead singer of in this moment nude – I knew it was only a matter of time before this one showed up.

maria brink sexy – No. Sexy’s her middle name.

bands related to in this moment – I believe their sister is in One Direction and they have a distant cousin who plays in Little Big Town.

go fuck yourself febuary

assyrian beard

pics of marilyn manson sucking his own penis – Why the hell would you want to see this?

penny dreadful lyrics the said so

Tits seen at the gathering

Tits seen at the gathering

tits i saw at the gathering

penis in musci – What is a musci? And why would you put a penis in it?

i’m the motherfucker that named you sue

pornbelow15 – I usually like my porn hot like a sauna. Or at least room temperature.

Are You Lost 10


1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

fuckin banging my head with damageplan what are you doing? – Dude why didn’t you text me back? I did! I fuckin texted you on Google why didn’t you get it?

jim roots new mask

I didn't even have to photoshop this one. Thanks BlondNBlues from http://aic.yuku.com/topic/380/Jerrys-Angels-Thread?page=11#.VN4-K_nF_Ws

I didn’t even have to photoshop this one. Thanks BlondNBlues from http://aic.yuku.com/topic/380/Jerrys-Angels-Thread?page=11#.VN4-K_nF_Ws

layne staley christmas

racial overtones about rap musci

al jourgensen on marilyn manson

shirley manson on kittie

rage against the machines suck my balls

rage against the machine at g.a.y – You’d think Rage is big enough to be headlining decent venues and not playing dives with names like “Suck My Balls” and “G.A.Y.”

mrbeldingfearfactoryaljourgensonal jourgensen penis

araya nicks posing naked

 

maria brink trailer trash – This is actually the plot to the film “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”

Are You Lost 9


1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nI’d like to think that because I’m such a great writer people are coming to read about my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into search engines and ending up here. After reading fellow blogger Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead folks to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

joan jett gay – She seems pretty happy.

keith richards friends with al jourgensen – Not yet, but like cockroaches and twinkies, they are expected to survive a nuclear holocaust.

Here you go old dude who figured out how to use the internet properly.

Here you go old dude who figured out how to use the internet properly.

porno layne staley – ewww

joan staley tits – Now? Or 1958?

black gives way to blue better than devil put dinosaurs here – I don’t think so.

acid bath song called blue something – “Venus Blue”

danzig shirtless Gee, how long did you have to search to find this?

penis stew bmg – ewww

organ grinder tutorial manson keyboard

how old is maria brink – Old enough to be your mother.

american musical supply catalog with george harrison on the cover

Vic Rattlehead talk to Godmegadeth’s religion

sara x mills naked fully – I actually looked for this on google for a minute before I realized that if the search brought them here… I’m probably not going to find it either.

bad religon hark the yuletide youtube

 

Thank You 2014


I’d like to send a big thank you to all of the people who stopped by the Audible Stew this year, but I don’t have addresses for all of them so I’m just going to thank those of you that read this post.

2014 was another year of growth for the Audible Stew. I’ve settled into my role as a rock blogger and I feel I’ve hit my stride. I’ve unleashed a few new series, Musical FriendsPlatinum Albums and So You Wanna Start A Band. I’m closing in on 10,000 hits. While none of these are huge accomplishment and I’m not quite a superblogger – It’s still a step on my way to global blog domination.

So after showing you the best the world had to offer you this past year in The Best of 2014, I bring you the best my blog had to offer this past year.

Now…(drum roll)… the winners are:

Best Movie Gig – J Geils in “Grown Ups 2”

Biggest Album I Couldn’t Care Less About – Slipknot

Most Popular Search Term – What’s Wrong With Axl Rose? Everybody and their brother is wondering.

Most Popular Posts of 2014 – 

Bridging the Music Presents Local Band Showcase 177
Miley Cyrus – “Wrecking Ball” 150
Weezer – “Weezer” (The Blue Album) 146
The Pretty Reckless – Going To Hell 144
What is Wrong with Axl Rose? 130
Are You Lost III 104

Most Popular Countries – After my post “The Best Canadian Rockers” I thought this list would look a little different.

United States 3,710
Germany FlagGermany 359
France FlagFrance 265
United Kingdom FlagUnited Kingdom 229
Canada FlagCanada 202
Australia FlagAustralia 95
I also had 11 views from Pakistan. I wonder who’s reading me in Pakistan.

Best Album Title – PLECTRUMELECTRUM by Prince and 3rdeyegirl. Mainly because it sounds like ‘Rectum Electrum.’

Biggest Disappointment – In This Moment’s Black Widow After My rave review of their last album, Blood, and a few rave reviews of this release I was expecting it to be… well, good.

The Hottest Rock Stars


After my tasteless post a few weeks ago on the best songs to play while committing suicide, I thought it would be appropriate if I were to do a totally misogynistic post to repulse my remaining readers. So I present you…

THE HOTTEST ROCK STARS

Maria BrinkMaria Brink of In This Moment – I like what she’s doing artistically with the old-timey lingerie and the tinfoil bunny ears; but personally, I thought she looked better with her clothes on.

Christina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil – Another one I’ve never understood. I hear she has nice feet?

Joan Jett – I never cared much for her until I saw that movie The Runaways. Now I love rock and roll.

Pink – I fell in love at about :45 when she starts jumping rope. Like I said… Misogyny

Otep – Whereas Pink definitely could kick my ass, I get the feeling Otep wants to kick my ass. And for some reason that’s really sexy.

Miley Cyrus – I admit to it.

Yeah, I'd do Chris Cornell. And I don't think that's gay.

Yeah, I’d do Chris Cornell. And I don’t think that’s gay.

Katy Perry – I once heard her referred to as ‘the tits I could play with until the end of time.’ I’m not sure I could do it that long, but Earth would be a cinder burnt out by the expanding sun by the time I was done.

Chris Cornell – I’m not gay or anything. I don’t want to have sex with him. I just want to spoon… man.

This has been my desktop background for a while now.

This has been my desktop background for a while now.

 

Taylor Momsen of The Pretty Reckless – So what if she looks like something from a Dr. Seuss book. She’s still the sexiest who this side of Horton’s eardrum.

Shirley Manson of Garbage – Scottish red head? Potty mouth? Terminator? YES! YES! YES!

If any of you ever find yourself in need of American citizenship, use me for your green card.

If any of you ever find yourself in need of American citizenship, use me for your green card.

 

 

Kittie – It was well documented that every metal dude on the face of the planet was in love with Kittie when they first came out in 1999, but has anyone heard their latest album?

Fiona Apple – I think every guy around my age who remembers this video was in love with Fiona Apple.

All joking aside, these women may have turned my head with their looks, but unlike a plethora of famous singers who aren’t on this list; they managed to keep my attention.