Are You Lost XX


I like to think it’s because I’m a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music and politics.Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading

Of course, what really happens is people type crazy shit into Google and somehow end up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

Turns out it’s mostly a desire to see Stevie Nicks naked.


trump can suck a giant bag of dicks – Yes, indeed he can.

donald trump eats a big bag of dicks – I would like to see this. Is it on YouTube?

women of gwar nude

 

What is wrong with humanity?

kim dylla hot – Didn’t she play Vulvatron in GWAR? I’ve never seen the name of a member of GWAR next to the word hot unless it was the sentence “Boy, those crazy rubber suits GWAR wear must be really hot because they all stink worse than a gym locker room’s nutsack from all the sweat soaked into them.”

 

taylor momsen bare – Still looking.

stevie nicks see through naked – So many people want to see Stevie Nicks naked for some reason… and they all end up on this blog.

stevie nicks toes

stevie nicks nackt

trim the fat on albums melon collie and the infinite sadness – If only I could. But what if you did have a time machine and could go back and do it? What would the ramifications be? We might be living in some alternate universe where the Smashing Pumpkins didn’t release a few great albums then a lot of really horrible ones.

Why do I put myself through this?

porn model at juggalo concert – Eww. What porn model would that be? I don’t even want to know. Next question…

brad wilk nude – What? How did this guy get here? 

rock on the range 2017 may 21st flash tits woman

mypornsnap teen

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New Music Roundup Part 2


Fisher-Price Little People Animal Songs Sing-A-LongI’ve seen a few posts where people list the music they’ve bought and give a little commentary on it. I find these posts pretty interesting so I thought I’d try my hand at it. I was hoping to make this a twice yearly thing, but blame the state of the music industry for not putting out anything good for me to buy.

*This list does not include anything I have borrowed from the library and ripped to my computer.

13 June 2015 (Walmart New Philadelphia, OH)

Fisher-Price Little People – Animal Songs Sing-Along     $13

Nobody told me how different my music buying habits would change when I had a child, but I can’t expect her to enjoy GWAR or Acid Bath the way I do so I had to buy her something for long car rides. All joking aside though the guitar solo on “The Farmer in the Dell” is pretty bad ass and the drums possess a great laid-back Ringo quality.

 

29 June (Browse & Buy Resale Shop New Philadelphia, OH)

Roadrunner United: The All Star Sessions      $2.50

The Jesus and Mary Chain: Automatic            $2.50

I bought the Roadrunner United album when it first came out, but lost it somewhere along the way. It’s a really unique album where the label tapped four musicians to be team captains who led 57 artists from 45 past and present Roadrunner bands and produced the album. It’s definitely a one of a kind album and I would highly recommend it to anyone looking to satisfy a metal craving.

I completely forgot about the Jesus and Mary Chain album. I think I still have it…

 

Greatest Shit9 July (Amazon.com)

KMFDM: Greatest Shit   $17.49

Finntroll: Blodsvept         $8.99

I picked up the KMFDM album after seeing En Esch last year and I hate to just get one album at a time so I grabbed the next thing on my wish list.

 

25 Oct (FYE, New Towne Mall New Philadelphia, OH)

Alice in Chains – Live & Unreleased  $3.99

Nirvana – Unplugged in New York     $5

Unplugged in New York was a replacement. My copy was scratched to hell. I grabbed the Live & Unreleased promo disc and was quickly disappointed when I realized it was song that were released later on their Live album. I’ll have to put it on eBay to get some other poor sucker.

 

GWAR-Scumdogs-of-the-UniverseI went on a bit of a GWAR kick after seeing them live last November. My collection isn’t complete yet, but I’m getting pretty close.

10 Nov (Amazon.com)

GWAR – RagNaRok  $8.35

11 Nov (Ebay.com ( jnientertainment ( 17042 ))

GWAR – Carnival of Chaos  $7.34

 

14 Nov (Ebay.com (swmcom11 ( 267 ))

GWAR – Scumdogs of the Universe – $20.74

 

The Best of Mozart6 Dec (Browse & Buy Resale Shop New Philadelphia, OH)

Elton John – Reg Strikes Back  $2.50

The Best of Mozart                    $2.50

I used to wonder how Elton John could go from megarockstar 70s icon to virtually unknown in the 80s. Then I listened to Reg Strikes Back. Have you ever heard it? No? There’s a reason for that.

The Mozart album is pretty good. It features cuts from his entire career. From his humble beginnings playing cover symphonies in Hamburg nightclubs, through his time as a backup player with James Brown, Little Richard and others and even his much chagrined “Fat Mozart” period.

 

20 February 2016 (Amazon.com)

Foo Fighters – Big Me                     $4

The Tea Party – Edges of Twilight  $ 3.91

Glueleg – Heroic Doses                   $ 3.97

Stay away from mikeladano.com. Seriously. If you go on that site you’ll end up reading about some awesome band that you’ve never heard of and the next thing you know they’re on your Amazon wish list. I mean, I don’t regret any of these purchases (Except the Big Me single which is just the single and not the Maxi CD single (Who knew there was such a difference?)) But I was perfectly happy not knowing there was an awesome band called Glueleg and if it hadn’t been for that damn website I probably never would have known.

 

Beezelbubba28 May 2016 (FYE, New Philadelphia, OH)

Nine Inch Nails – The Downward Spiral $9.99

The Dead Milkmen – Beezelbubba       $1.00

I was looking to see if they had any Dead Kennedys when I came across the Dead Milkmen disc and I instantly knew I had to have it. Because it was “Buy 1 Get 1 for $1” day at FYE I replaced my old copy of the Downward Spiral while I was at it.

 

29 May (Bandcamp.com)

Mr. Clit & The Pink Cigarettes – Haircuts $5

(Amazon.com)

Local H – Hey Killer                            $8.99

The Descendents – Everything Sux   $9.49

Bad Guys – Bad Guynaecology         $8.99

Hey Killer is probably the best album of 2015 and nearly everyone missed it. Well, except for the guy that wrote that article telling me how great it was.

 

David Bowie “The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars”


ZiggyStardustAt some point during my high school years I came upon my parents’ collection of vinyl tucked away in a closet. So I did what any young man in my situation would do: I went to the flea market and bought a record player. I can’t remember all of the titles but there were about a dozen. The Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack, Deep Purple’s Purple Passages, Alice Cooper’s From the Inside, Space Oddity, The Door’s LA Woman and a CCR Greatest Hits. A few were just sleeves with no records inside. At the time I was really disappointing to not be able to listen to Lace & Whiskey or Diamond Dogs, but they did make cool wall art.

Of course I can still remember my favorite of my parents’ old record: Pink Floyd’s The Wall. I listened to that album all the time. My high school years consisted mostly of smoking pot and listening to that album. But I also spent a lot of time listening to my second favorite of those albums: Ziggy Stardust.

When it comes to David Bowie I’m more of a greatest hits fan than a hardcore fan. Changesbowie was replaced in my collection only recently by the 2 disc Best of Bowie. And honestly, I could do without a few of the big hits. I’ve never been too keen on “Fashion” or “Let’s Dance.” I’ve listened to a few of his albums (Hunky Dory, Station to Station, Heathen) but never felt the need to buy any. Except for Ziggy Stardust. Something about that album has always spoken to me on some Sci-Fi nerd level.

 

I’m guessing most of my interest has to do with the Sci-Fi connection. That’s probably part of my interest in Fear Factory and GWAR too, but Bowie managed to mix that imagery and persona with really good pop rock music. It’s like if Captain Kirk were a rock star (and not just a pretend one like William Shatner).

“Five Years” has to be one of the best openers I’ve ever heard. Something about the way the piano chimes in and then builds up to the ‘Five Years, my brain hurts a lot’ pumps me up and gets me excited for the rest of the album. “Moonage Daydream” is my favorite love song ever. I’ll know if I ever meet the right girl because she’ll agree to have this be the song we first dance to at our wedding. I always think of the John Carpenter/Jeff Bridges film of the same name when I hear “Starman,” though neither has anything to do with the other. Boy that’s a catchy feel good tune though. It’s crazy to think that it’s still popular enough to make an appearance in a big budget movie like The Martian. 

Bowie with Eyepatch

I think this is from the ‘Rebel, Rebel’ video shoot, but it still looks pretty cool.

I find it weird that the concept album includes a cover. I’ve never seen that before, but “It Ain’t Easy” is a good side closer and who am I to question Bowie?

I quickly discovered that the cool thing about vinyl was listening to one side over and over without having to rewind like a cassette tape. I listened to side two much more than one. This is one of the few albums I know of that ends stronger than it begins. “Lady Stardust” is a good side opener. It has a nice mellow vibe to lull me in and get me unconsciously singing along so my coworkers start laughing at me. The title track is the best of this side. I love that main guitar riff and Mick Ronson’s lead work over the bare acoustic track is magical. Very few guitar players could come up with something that great.

I’ve never understood where “Suffragette City” fit in with the story. Maybe I should look into the lyrics a little deeper. And how can you end any better than “Rock ‘n’ Roll Suicide.” That’s an album closer if I ever heard one. The only problem with it is how much it leaves me wanting more. I’m listening to Diamond Dogs as I type this and I think that’s about as good as I’m going to get.

One of the coolest things about Ziggy Stardust is that while I’ve heard the album on Vinyl, CD and digital it always sounds the same. I’m not sure If I’ve just never heard a remastered version or it the grooves and pops are so embedded in my mind that I can’t hear it any other way.

The good thing is, that I don’t really want to hear it any other way.

 

The Best of 2015


 

Bad Guys “Prostitutes (Are Making Love In My Garden)” Thanks 1537

 

Eyes Set To Kill – This album actually came out in 2013, but because I only discovered this band in 2015 it meets my rigorous and thorough standards to appear on this list.

Marilyn Manson  “The Pale Emperor

Ghost – Meliora

 

Coal Chamber/Fear Factory tour

Finntroll – Haxbrygd (Thanks to Mike Ladano)

 

The Death of Scott Weiland – I’m not trying to say this was one of the best things to happen this year, or even a good thing, but I don’t do a “Most Important” list so it ends up here.

 

John 5 finally goes on a solo tour

GWAR still Rocks!

Faith No More – Sol Invictus

 

Happy New Year!

 

GWAR @ The Agora


GWAR Agora 11/8/20158 November 2015

The Agora Theater; Cleveland, OH

Demons Within, Solipsist, Battlecross, GWAR

There were two reasons I felt this show was a must-see: 1) I needed to see how the band had weathered the passing of longtime vocalist/front man, Oderus Urungus and 2) GWAR fucking rocks and I was sure it would take more of an effort for them to put on a shitty show than it would for them to give a great performance. I wasn’t sure what to expect without Oderus, he seemed to be the glue that held everyone together. All I really wanted was some blood, gore, celebrity dismemberment and fun. I did not leave disappointed.

The opening acts had several things working against them. For one, I’m not a huge fan of death/black/speed metal. I realize now that there may be a speed limit to my musical tastes. Anything faster than 120 BPM sounds like mush to my ears. As always there are exceptions to this rule, but speed isn’t really something that impresses me much. The other thing working against all of these talented, hardworking musicians is that they were opening for GWAR! I don’t want to see you wankers! Get off the stage so GWAR can come on!

Demons Within were a last minute addition to replace the cancelled Born of Osiris. I think they may have been the fastest band of the night. It wasn’t really music you could bang your head to, but more like music to have a seizure to. The did have the best lead guitar acrobatics of any local band I’ve ever seen.

I swear, Richard O'Brien is the bass player for Battlecross.

I swear, Richard O’Brien is the bass player for Battlecross.

Solipsist is another local band that is brutally metal as fuck. Listening to them was like getting hit in the head with a sack of rocks. Something strange about heavy-speed metal is that the more I listen to it, the more I understand and appreciate it; and their set closer was by far their best song.

Battlecross are another group that break my BPM speed limit, but they manage to put some pretty awesome grooves into their music. It’s fast as hell, but it has a nice beat and you can dance to it. They get bonus points for having Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture Show playing bass for them. I wondered what happened to that guy.

Then is was time to put away the appetizers and move on to the main course. A brief intro introduced us to ‘The new and improved GWAR,’ two guys in costumes doing a dance version of ‘Sick of You.’ They only made it to the breakdown before the real GWAR entered and slaughtered them to “Crush, Kill, Destroy.”

Now, I had planned on staying toward the back of the theater and watching from a comfortable, dry spot. I’ve “seen” GWAR twice before on the Sounds of the Underground tours, but I was always so close to the stage that I was constantly getting sprayed in the face with spew and could barely hear any of the songs. This time I wanted to actually watch the performance. I even wore a new shirt and my leather jacket to dissuade me from traveling up front. This all went out the door when they started “Saddam A Go-Go.” I rushed up front and hopped in the pit. By the end of the show it looked like I had egg yolk all over my face and I was very, very pleased.

 

The best part was that the performance was like a play. They played a lot tunes from their catalog and also performed as actors. The set-up came when their manager tells them that the internet is saying bad things about them. He tells them that they need to kill the internet it they want more crack. So they visit several sites (SpewTube, Kinder (like tinder but for child molesters), and Instagram (where they buy several grams of crack instantly)) and then kill the people associated with these sites. After proclaiming their mastery and defeating their foe, Balsac gave a warm, moving speech about how we could now enjoy life and no longer had to serve our digital overlord that had been enslaving us. Or something like that, I was thinking about what I was going to write in this blog.

I've seen a lot of bands dedicate albums to the memories of fallen musicians, but these guys names a star after their friend. What a bunch of saps!

I’ve seen a lot of bands dedicate albums to fallen musicians, but these guys named a star after their friend. What a bunch of saps!

They very rarely broke the fourth wall. The only time I can remember them doing that was to lead us in a chant for “the best rock and roll singer to walk this or any other planet” O-DER-US. You know, for a bunch of intergalactic warriors who make their living slaughtering humans for entertainment, GWAR are some sentimental fucks.

There were quite a few song that I didn’t recognize. I’m sure some may have been new and others might have come from albums I’m not that familiar with, but the set was great. “Babyraper,” “Meat Sandwich” and “I, Bonesnapper” all made the cut. Hillary Clinton and Kanye West emerged only to be slaughtered during “Salamanizer” and they closed the set with “Sick of You.” My only complaint was the omission of anything from America Must Be Destroyed. I can understand they were focusing on songs that Blothar could sing well, (seeing as how he is very different from Oderus) and can understand excluding something like “Have You Seen Me?”, but I’ve really been digging on “The Road Behind” lately and loved the parts Blothar sang (as Beefcake) back in the day.

Photo by Jon Lichtenberg. Click image for more.

Photo by Jon Lichtenberg. Click image for more.

I’m still digesting everything I saw on Sunday, but I know I didn’t see the death throes of GWAR. Maybe I just say this because I’m such a huge fan and think they’re the best band in the world at what they do, but I’m pretty sure those who are writing them off are going to end up eating their words. Just like critics of AC/DC and Alice in Chains. The good news is that if you haven’t seen GWAR yet in your lifetime it’s still not too late.

 

Are You Lost 14


Picard Why would you google thatI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

Jerry Cantrell's Tattoojerry cantrell tattoo

juggalos having sex

hottest juggalos

kim dylla toppless – Do you mean without baseball cards?

.all female tribute band to mortification

www stevie nicks naked pictures free porn xvideos.com – It’s supposed to be www. and then no spaces between any of the words. 

stevie nicks tits

Sarah Wreath. Not Nude

Sarah Wreath. Not Nude

sarah wreth nude – Did you mean Sarah Wreath?

essay about beep vs magnetic ticket – I’m not sure what you mean by that buddy. 

https://tomsin83.wordpress.com/tag/nudity/

site:wordpress.com nude naked nudity girl – That’s actually a pretty clever blog title. I may just change from The Audible Stew.

black-white-little-girl-crying-middle-fingergirl crying with bad finger

female middle finger tumblr

maria brink nude foto

maria brink all the way nude – would you settle for just partially nude?

ciplak.hit.muzik.nude

sis sucks moms tits – Not only do I not understand incest porn, I’m also not sure how Google managed to match that search with my site.

#bottom12onthe17th


When I was preparing my list for the Top 15 on the 15th I came across a few albums that were close, but didn’t quite make the cut. I’m sure this happened to everyone and I noticed at least on person included them on their post. I didn’t do this because the original post ran long enough as it was and I didn’t want to clutter it up.

After Boppin’s Blog made the suggestion of posting the close calls I found it too hard to resist doing a second post for the almost made its. What can I say? I’m a sucker for a nice list post.

Plus I’ll milk a good idea until it’s completely drained.

 

The_Crow_soundtrack_album_coverOriginal Motion Picture Soundtrack The Crow (1995) – Definitely would have made the list if it had a better second half.

Fear Factory Demanucacture (1995) – I’m not really into heavy metal as much as I used to be, but this is still one of the defining records of the genre for me.

GWAR We Kill Everything (1999) – GWAR aren’t really a band known for their records. This one is the first I ever bought from them and features some of my favorite songs from like “Fucking an Animal” and “Fishfuck.” Classic.

Ministry Psalm 69 (1992) – Yet again, the metal thing. But this one is right up there with Pantera and Megadeth in terms of thrash brilliance.

Mudvayne The End of All Things To Come (2002) – This is what happened when good musicians played nu-metal.

Red Hot Chili Peppers BloodSugarSexMagic (1991) – I was surprised to not see more RHCP on the top 15 lists. This one is a classic, but for me it’s a Top 25 classic.

Meat Loaf Bat Out Of Hell (1977) – A classic hard rock album that has never been duplicated.

Dead Kennedys Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables (1980) – Where would punk be without the Dead Kennedys? They’re definitely my favorite socially-conscious rockers.

Ozzy Osbourne No More Tears (1991) – I was also surprised by the lack of Ozzy on most lists; but yet again, Top 20.

Tool AEnima gifTool AEnima (1996) – This was right before Tool lost me in their strange heavy prog. But I love this album. Not just for the tunes, but also for the weird interludes.

Nirvana Unplugged in New York (1994) – It’s hard to pick a favorite Nirvana album because they’re all so different. I chose this one because even though it’s missing the loud, distorted guitars and scream-till-you’re-hoarse vocals it displays the beauty of Cobain’s simple songwriting skills.

Fiona Apple When the Pawn… (1999) – This album was right there with Madman Across The Water and Temple of the Dog on my list of “OK, I’m done drinking now and I want to go to sleep” list. As I always had trouble sleeping after too many beers I listened to it a lot. And I’m still pretty in love with it.

Are You Lost 13


Picard Why would you google thatI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

stevie nicks nue – I’m really not sure when her new album comes out. I’m sure that’s what you were looking for.

The kind of girl you want to take home to Mom.

The kind of girl you want to take home to Mom.

stevie nicks topless cover

james root beard

rubberbootgirl

juggalo porn

maria brink hairstyle – Of all the weird search terms that have led people to this site, this is the one I’m most ashamed of.

imagenes de maria brink hot

sexy maria brink

мария бринк 2015 -I think they were looking for Maria Brink, but I’m not sure.

Was this the kind of nude metal chick you were looking for?

Was this the kind of nude metal chick you were looking for?

nude metal chicks

wonderland space

mushroomhead les claypool

kim dylla sexy and nude – That makes sense. Since you couldn’t find pictures of her sexy or nude, just try both!

axl rose nude

marilyn manson’s penis – What the hell is wrong with people?

 

Are You Lost 12


1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

taboo nudity – Isn’t all nudity taboo?lovesexy

nude techno album cover

stevie nicks greatest hits wallpaper

axl rose agora

guns roses stew – I wonder what this would taste like.

rock on the range nude tumblr

wheelchair crowd surfing

rock on the range wet t shirts tumblr

0511-vulvatron-getty-4 kim dyllakim dylla naked/ kim dylla nude/ kim dylla toppless – I’m sure she’s a very lovely girl, but why would you want to see any member of GWAR naked?

nude and naket l kinr uar girt – Does any body know what language this is?

icp mr bungle

 

maria brink insane clown posse

little richard/manson – I’m not sure, but I may be the only person to ever compare Little Richard to Marilyn Manson.

 

björk nude – this makes a little more sense than the Kim Dylla searches. Not much more sense, but a little.

You Know, GWAR Is Actually A Pretty Good Band


The only reason these guys look so cool is because they wrote songs like "Sick of You," "Saddam A GoGo" and "Fuckin an Animal"  If it hadn't been for that they'd look as stupid as you.

The only reason these guys look so cool is because they wrote songs like “Sick of You,” “Saddam A GoGo” and “Fuckin an Animal”
If it hadn’t been for that they’d look as stupid as you.

I’ve heard people say a lot of stupid things in my life. Some of them came out of my own mouth. I hear ridiculous things all the time like, “Can I save the internet at work to use at home?” “What happened to Pluto now that it’s not a planet anymore” and one of the most mind boggling: “I’m not racist at all, but Obama is a lazy nigger.”

One of the things that really makes me scratch my head is when people tell me “You know what, GWAR is actually a pretty good band.” No shit? I have about 10 of their albums, I never would have guessed. And even if I wasn’t a fan, they’ve still managed to stick together for 25 years and become one of the biggest underground acts of all time.

I suppose a few of my acquaintances live in an alternate universe where shitty, awful morons with no talent are able to sell hundreds of thousands of albums. Sure, there are a lot of truly horrible bands that grace the top 40 every week. But it could be argued that all of them possess some modicum of talent, strong will and/or hard work ethic. Even those tools who use auto tune and choreographed dancing have learned something I never have: how to be really good looking.

GWAR-GOODNIGHT-MOON-facebookGWAR is actually one of the things that got me into writing about music. It’s been a dream of mine to write the authorized biography of the band. I’m pretty sure this would be the greatest book ever. Think about it: On one side you have the story of a bunch of dudes from Richmond, VA who got together, formed a band, released a whole bunch of albums, appeared on numerous talk shows and became legends in their own time, and the other story is that a group of intergalactic warriors came to Earth to enslave the indigenous population. Either way you slice it, it would be a great read!

I’m not sure if that dream died with Dave Brockie (Oderus Urungus) last year. It’s sad that such a huge part of the GWAR team, their voice and their leader, is gone. But I give props to the band for continuing on. I haven’t seen their new show yet, but I hope to. A world without GWAR is not a world I want to live in. And if any of you guys like my idea of a biography I can be reached via the comments section below. (I actually pitched this idea to Todd Evans of Mobile Deathcamp who used to be in the band, but I was told he’s not really in contact with the GWAR camp any longer.)

 

I did manage to meet Oderus at Sounds of the Underground 2005 when he was signing autographs. I’ve never been so nervous about meeting a rock star. This was probably because he walked around the table and dry humped the girl in front of me while singing “White Wedding.” It also probably has something to do with the way he scribbled ODE on my album cover, tossed it aside and then tossed the table aside before retiring to the corner of his tent while merch people cleaned up the mess. It was definitely an experience.

I suppose the thing that really miffs me about the “GWAR is actually a good band” comment is that the people who have said that to me were in a band just like GWAR! They wore elaborate costumes and had an intricate back story. Their main goal seemed to be to shock. Yet, they had never looked at the kings of shock rock who lorded over the genre so high no one has ever been able to touch them, and likely never will. It’s like if a punk band never listened to the Ramones, a metal band never listened to Black Sabbath or GWAR had never listened to Alice Cooper or KISS.