Axl Versus The Internet


Axl Trump

Axl Trump

On May 29th I got an email from WordPress notifying me of a  DMCA take down notice. It appears someone had a problem with a photo I used on my site and complained of me using their copyrighted material without permission.

OK, I get that. I often google words or phrases and find a picture that fits what I want to say and post it. I figure most of the stuff that shows up high on a google search is done by people who aren’t extremely worried about copyright infringement or has been shared so many times it’s nearly impossible to decipher who is the real owner. (I do ask photographers at concerts I attend to use their photos. Most people are happy for the exposure.)

So I figure’d I’d just stepped on some local photographers toes and was genuinely sorry, but then I read further down the letter which informed me that the company making the complaint was Web Sheriff of London and the copyright holder was…

Axl Gaga

Axl Gaga

Wait for it…

Axl Rose.

That’s right. You’ve seen the picture. Axl is wearing a red bandanna and sporting a Fu Manchu. His bottom lip is pulled back over his teeth and he looks ridiculous. I used it in my What’s Wrong With Axl Rose? post. I read on Billboard a week later that Axl’s goal is to wipe this image from the internet completely.

Seems like another screw just came loose from Axlbot 2016.

Axl Rose (and most performers) do retain rights to professionally taken photos of themselves so there is a legal precedent for this (even if the newspaper who took the photo disagrees with the decision and it is a total dick move), but remember that time Axl was arrested in St. Louis for inciting a riot? I bet he doesn’t own the rights to those pictures.

Axl Simmons

Axl Simmons

So fuck you Axl.

Oh, and by the way, I haven’t copyrighted any of these images. Feel free to use them, share them and spread them around like a bad case of crabs. If we all work hard enough, hopefully they’ll make it back to Axl.

 

 

 

 

Nobody likes me...

Nobody likes me…

Are You Lost 17


Picard Why would you google thatI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew. And I could use an easy week to get caught up on my reading.

alice in chains untold story audible torrents – Don’t you hate when you’re looking for a free eBook download and you wind up on review site instead?

https://tomsin83.wordpress.com/tag/rock-on-the-range/ – Did somebody actually type all of this in?

recently deceased motorhead leader – You’d think they could have just typed in Motorhead and clicked on ‘News’ and they’d have found what they were looking for.

Satanic in South Africa

Satanism taking over Africa

satanic in tanzania

beavis and butthead darling nikki – This search led someone to my site because of my Best Soundtracks post which featured The Beavis & Butthead Experience and Prince’s Purple Rain (which featured the song “Darling Nikki”). What they were actually looking for is anyone’s guess.

ozzy osbourne draw

what is wrong with axl roses leg/whats wrong with axl rose foot/what is wrong with axl rose’s face

what’s new with axl rose – I think pretty much anyone looking for updates on Axl Rose or any of his appendages has stopped by my site at some point. 

THE NUDE SECTION I get a lot of people looking for nude pictures. A lot. It’s probably because I have actually posted pictures of certain artists naked. But I’d never sink so low to post what these people are looking for. Haha… Just kidding.

youngest – I can only assume this is something sexual.

スティービーニックス (Stevie Nicks in Japanese) – I hope it doesn’t seem racist that I put this search term in with the people looking for nude photos. It’s not because I think all Japanese people are looking for internet porn, it’s just that everyone searching for Stevie Nicks that ends up on my site is looking for pictures of her nude.

Strategically edited nude photo of Peter Steelestevie nicks nude naked – Or nude naked.

slipknot naked – All 9 members?

female heavy metal singers that posed nude – I actually don’t know of any female heavy metal singers who have posed nude. In fact there’s only one heavy metal singer I know of that has posed nude. 

topless metal girls

nude robot girl 3d – There really is a fetish for everything

Honestly, I think I won the SEO game by having a post titled “What is Wrong With Axl Rose?” that’s brought me more traffic than just about everything else combined. Plus, it hasn’t hurt that I once posted a nude photo of Stevie Nicks.

The Best Bass Players


Page OneI’m not a huge fan of the “What Four Musicians Form Your Dream Super Group” game. I usually just rattle off the members of Alice in Chains or Tool. Sometimes I pick a trio or quintet and add or subtract a member, but that was never my game.

I do really enjoy “Best of…” lists though. And I thought it would be a good idea to do some for this blog.

I do realize I could just call this “My Favorite Bass Players,” but I worry that would take all of the controversy out of it. Just rest assured that I did a lot of research into my personal preferences to compile this list. It was very scientific.

Billy Gould (Faith No More) – He’s not an extremely flashy bass player, but every so often you get a bit of flare that lets you know his chops could keep up with the best of them. I’ve always felt it takes more to restrain and play for the song than to shred.

Duff McKagan (Guns n’ Roses, Velvet Revolver) – McKagan isn’t really a bass player. He’s more like a rhythm guitar player who only has four really fat strings.

Jonathan Wolff (The Guy Who Did The Music for “Seinfeld”) – Really, he did all of that with a synthesizer. But I think he still deserves a place on this list.

Les Claypool (Primus, Flying Frog Brigade, Oysterhead, etc.) – Perhaps the only instance of a lead bass player in popular music. There are a few other’s who can turn the bass into the main instrument on the song, but Claypool is the only one whose album I ever bought.

 

Mike Inez (Alice in Chains, Ozzy Osbourne, Black Label Society) – You may think I put him on this list because of my AIC fandom, but you would be mistaken. Inez makes his way to this list for being credited with “Inspiration and Musical Direction” on Ozzy’s No More Tears album. Seriously, how fucking awesome do you have to be to get that credit on that album?

Geezer Butler (Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne, G//Z/R) – But even with as awesome as Mike Inez is, he’s still lower on the list than Ozzy’s other main squeeze of a bass player. Geezer gets bonus points for writing some pretty awesome lyrics too.

Ryan Martinie (Mudvayne) – Mudvayne get’s a pretty bad rap for being lumped together with nu metal, but when it comes down to it they’re some pretty bad-ass musicians. And the bass player is the one who manages to consistently wow me.

Cliff Burton (Metallica) – You may think I put him on this list for being such a virtuoso and shredding all over the neck and doing stuff that people confused for guitar solos, but you’re wrong. Much like children, bass players should be seen and not heard.

The dude from AC/DC (AC/DC) – Who is that guy? Does he really exist? I know he’s been in the band for a while, but I really can’t think of his name. Like, we all know Angus and Brian Johnson. Then you have Malcolm there in the background and the drummer who does meth and tries to hire hit men. But who’s the bass player? In fact, I may be wrong here. AC/DC might not even have a bass player.

The Horror... The Horror.

The Horror… The Horror.

The dude from the White Stripes (The White Stripes, Local H, The Doors) – The greatest bass players should not only not be heard or seen, they should not even exist! Come one, who really cares about bass players anyway?

Bands I Used To Love


I’ve been pretty consistent with my musical tastes for most of my life. I started out listening to the same stuff as my mom, but after discovering Soundgarden’s ‘Black Hole Sun’ I started to forge my own path. And the cool thing is that I’ve stayed on that path pretty consistently for 20 years. I believe the copies I have of Nirvana’s Incesticide and Alice in Chains are the original ones I bought in junior high. I also remember buying Pearl Jam’s Ten, a live Sex Pistols and Hole’s Live Through This on some of those early CD excursions. But nearly every path has a few side trips and there are a few musicians I don’t care much for anymore.

 

silverchair – The last time I listened to Frogstomp I couldn’t help thinking it hasn’t aged very well. I remember loving that band when I first heard them, but after the last listening it sounded dated and juvenile. I still give them props for recording a lasting album at such a young age, but I’m glad no one was recording the crap I was writing at 15.

Limp Bizkit – Yes, I bought the first Limp Bizkit album. No, not Significant Other, the one before that. I read about them in a Guitar World interview and really like Wes Borland’s guitar work. But then they got huge and all the jocks started wearing their t-shirts and their music became less about interesting guitar work than about the nookie, yeah, the nookie, come on, the nookie.

Shadows Fall – Well, I didn’t really love them. I just liked them a little. But then I got really, really bored with them.

Techno – Much like my interest in professional wrestling this didn’t last very long. I’d probably enjoy it more with Ecstasy.

We might not really be total assholes, but we sure go to great lengths to look like we are.

We might not really be total assholes, but we sure go to great lengths to look like we are.

Five Finger Death Punch – When I first heard ‘The Bleeding’ it was a breath of fresh air. It sounded like no metal being played at the time. It was new, exciting and different. Unfortunately everyone else felt the same way and 5FDP have produce 4 or 5 albums that sound exactly like that first one.

Dope – Ah, who am I kidding. I still love their first 2 albums.

Linkin Park – Judging from the used CD section at my local FYE I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Godsmack – I was doomed to like Godsmack because I was such a huge Alice in Chains fan. And they were really good on their first album. I still liked them on the second one too. I bought one somewhere later, but I’ve since lost it. They suffered not only from the paradigm shift that drove me away from bands like Limp Bizkit and 5FDP but also from the fact that their singer is an insufferable asshole. I don’t even like Motley Crue but I’d take Nikki Sixx’s side in whatever that feud is about.

The Grateful Dead – I used to smoke pot, but I don’t think it was a huge problem because I put The Dead on this list and not Phish.

You know your music career is in the shitter when you have to product pro wrestling to pay the bills.

You know your music career is in the shitter when you have to product pro wrestling to pay the bills.

The Smashing Pumpkins – Billy Corgan is looking to be the next Axl Rose with the asshole things he’s been saying in the press saying he and Kurt Cobain were the only significant songwriters of the 90’s. And then he started talking trash about the Foo Fighters. I have to give him credit for getting press, but none of it makes me want to listen to the new album. Or even an old album.

 

So are there any band you listened to that you’re embarrassed to admit?

Are You Lost 12


1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

taboo nudity – Isn’t all nudity taboo?lovesexy

nude techno album cover

stevie nicks greatest hits wallpaper

axl rose agora

guns roses stew – I wonder what this would taste like.

rock on the range nude tumblr

wheelchair crowd surfing

rock on the range wet t shirts tumblr

0511-vulvatron-getty-4 kim dyllakim dylla naked/ kim dylla nude/ kim dylla toppless – I’m sure she’s a very lovely girl, but why would you want to see any member of GWAR naked?

nude and naket l kinr uar girt – Does any body know what language this is?

icp mr bungle

 

maria brink insane clown posse

little richard/manson – I’m not sure, but I may be the only person to ever compare Little Richard to Marilyn Manson.

 

björk nude – this makes a little more sense than the Kim Dylla searches. Not much more sense, but a little.

Rock on the Range 2009


2009 Rock on the RangeI was hoping to make it to Rock on the Range this year, but the ticket prices are a tad too high for me. Not to fear though, I’ll still cash in on the events popularity by digging up this unpublished review from the vault that I did way back in 2009. Hope you enjoy!

Columbus Crews stadium is close enough to the freeway that with the windows rolled down you can hear the bands playing on the way to the venue, which is great because you’re rocking before you’re parking. A gentleman with a couch on wheels pulled us to the front gate on a bicycle. Once inside we were surrounded by all the summer festival staples: bongs, t-shirts, overpriced food, portable toilets, and an ATM in a van. I loved the irony of seeing roaming beer vendors soliciting in the child play area. But we weren’t interested in elephant ears or $4 bottled water, we wanted rock! And rock we received.

I kicked off my day in a pit; from there it was a nonstop journey across three stages watching dozens of bands. The sky was overcast but anyone who’s ever been to an outdoor festival will tell you that this is preferential to blue skies. The clouds block out the sun’s heat and keep the day cool. Plus stage lights would have been asinine on a sunny day. The open-air stadium was a great place to see a show. The staircases and landings offered multiple views of the side stages. We even headed up to the nosebleed section and turned around to get a bird’s eye view.

Once Flyleaf took the main stage the clouds parted and the sun broke through, proving once and for all that Christian bands are good for something. But the clouds would not be deterred for long and soon the rains fell. Solid drops only lasted about five minutes but a light mist persisted throughout Chevelle’s set. The drizzle didn’t last long and a few women took the opportunity to remove their wet tops during All That Remains. (The singer for All That Remains tried to make a grand entrance by running onto and leaping on the stage. The rain made the stage a little slippery and he ended up slipping on his face). I usually have to shove dollars into garters to see so many boobies! The crowd was crazy at this show; I even saw a wheelchair that had to get in on the crowd surfing action.

After a scrape on the knee and a few kicks to the head we found some great seats for Alice in Chains. The question of the day was how well could the new guy sing these songs? William Duvall filled Layne Staley’s shoes so well he should be submitted to weekly drug screens. And even if he passes he should be sent to rehab! The only downside to seeing this classic band was that the wind blowing through the arena prevented me from holding up my lighter during “Rooster.” (During which they were joined by Duff McKagan)

After ten straight hours of bouncing back and forth between the stages and having to pick and choose between bands playing simultaneously it was nice to relax a bit and check out the great view of the Columbus skyline the stadium offers. Once Slipknot hit the stage the night was over. We sat in the bleachers and watched the crowd bounce back and forth, savoring the last moments of our day at Rock on the Range.

 

Bands That Need To Release New Albums


Faith_No_More_-_Sol_Invictus_Album_CoverRemember the days when bands would release an album twice every year and a few non-album singles to go along with them? Neither do I. I was born in 1983, long after rock and roll became big business and the fat cats realized they could make more money by only ponying out a new album ever 2 years. But that was 30 years ago and now we’re lucky to get a new album every 2 years. I haven’t seen a new album from some of my favorite artists in what feels like forever.

Seriously, why hasn’t John Lennon released an album of new music IN MY ENTIRE LIFETIME!

With Faith No More set to release their first new album in 18 years on May 19th, I thought it would be fun to take a look at a few other bands who haven’t given us any new material in a while and really need to make another album.

The Devil Put Dinosaurs HereAlice in Chains (2013) – It hasn’t been that long since AiC released The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here, but given the fact that we’ve only had 5 full lengths from them in the past 25 years I think they need to make up for lost time.

Fiona Apple (2012) – Yet again, the wait hasn’t been extremely long but we only have 4 full lengths to enjoy and the last one wasn’t all that enjoyable. Come on, we know you can do better than just beating on pots and pans. Who do you think you are Yoko Ono?

Soundgarden (2012) – I would have been happy to wait for a while after the dismal King Animal, but the news that Chris Cornell was working on a solo album earned Soundgarden a spot on this list. Yes Chris, you’re a very sexy man, but I’d much rather hear a new Soundgarden album than some crap you have Timberland or Macklemore produce.

Mudvayne (2009) – I really wish Hellyeah would change their name to Fuckno and go on hiatus long enough for Mudvayne to release a new album.

Metallica (2008) – Hahaha. Just kidding. Metallica have spent most of their career showing us why they should never release a new album.

10428037_10206367374689653_4174479858327646419_nTool (2006) – The Beatles recording career lasted from 1963-1970. The wait for the next Tool album has now stretched longer than that.

The Descendants (2004) – What happened to these guys? Did Milo do some Post Graduate work?

 

Butthole Surfers (2001) – I guess the waves just aren’t as good in the nether regions any more.

Days of the New (2001) – Unlike a lot of the other bands on this list, Days of the New have been working on the new album since the last one. I’m not sure if Travis Meeks is trying to beat Axl Rose’s record for longest wait between releases, but Days of the New IV is taking on Chinese Democracy-ish status.

Violent Femmes (2000) – I actually conceived and started this post three months ago. That was before they released a new EP on Record Store Day and signed up for a tour with Barenaked Ladies. So rejoice! Not all bands who seemed to have vanished into the void are gone. Go check them out this summer with Barenaked Ladies. Or do like I plan to and leave after their set. ‘One Week’ may sound better live, but I’m not taking that chance.