Man in Misfits T-shirt Has Actually Listened to the Misfits


Des Moine, IA- Seth Gamble was surprised to learn that his sister’s new boyfriend, Brock Shiner, actually knew the words to a song by his favorite band the Misfits.

“When she showed up with this new dude in a skull t-shirt I thought ‘Oh great, Sandra is still picking up guys at Hot Topic,” said Gamble. “But then as he was walking in to the house he stopped and belted out something that sounded like it came right off of Walk Among Us. I was totally shocked.”

Gamble has been disappointed by people wearing Misfits paraphernalia in the past. But he’s found Shriner to be “more real than all those fake-ass posers.”

“Yeah, it seems like every girl in junior high school has a Misfits t-shirt or leggings or backpack or something. They must hand them out with tampons and nail polish. I started seeing this girl I met a the roller-rink because she had a skull on her wristband, but she didn’t even know that Metallica didn’t write ‘Die Die My Darling.’ I won’t fall for that again.”

Shriner was completely surprised by the news, but happy he had made a good impression on the younger Gamble.

“Oh, Brock? Yeah, he’s a great kid. He’s been following me around all day asking me about horror movies. I stubbed my toe on the way in and made a weird ‘Oooo aaaahhh!’ sound that I held onto for a really long time so now he thinks I’m into some weird ’50s band.”

Devil Music Volume 1


White_Zombie_La_Sexorcisto_Devil_Music,_Vol._1I made the decision a while ago to focus on positive things and to not find bands (and other music related things) to poke fun at.

But then I ran across this great website, Satan’s Music, and felt compelled to write a post about it. This is great stuff. Click on the link and snoop around for your favorite band. I’ll wait until you get back

Really I shouldn’t make fun of the gentleman who wrote this because he really does know his shit about the occult, satanism, witchcraft, etc. I’m guessing he may be more knowledgeable than Aleister Crowley, Jimmy Page and Anton LaVey put together, but I just can’t help thinking that he’s a little misguided.

Sure, all the normal heavy hitters are here: Ozzy Osbourne, Led Zeppelin, Marilyn Manson, Justin Beiber. Those are the guys we know are into Satan. There’s never been any doubt about this. Just looking at the imagery or reading into their beliefs and interests shows that they were interested in Gothic imagery, the occult, Satanism or were, in fact, the devil himself.

justin-bieber-is-satan1But then there are a lot of artists on this list that I was surprised to see. Elton John is a favorite of mine and I never really thought of him as ‘devil’ music. To be honest I’ve always thought of him as being more toward the side of God. This site let me know that the reference to ‘The howling old owl in the woods’ from “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” was actually a reference to Satan. I wonder if Bernie Taupin knows this.

I’m not going to burn my copy of Yellow Brick Road after reading that, but it is interesting to know.

There are a few fallacies here. An article about industrial thrash band Ministry has them supporting the George HW Bush’s New World Order and the Illuminati when a cursory listen to their music reveals more satirical and antagonistic views of these organizations. And they could really use a fact checker. They have Johnny Cash singing several Glenn Danzig songs, but in fact he’s only sung one. I would be interested in helping out.

There are a few bands I was surprised to see: Eminem, Katy Perry, Bruce Springsteen, DC Talk, Selena Gomez, The Eagles, The Dixie Chicks and U2. I did know Freddy Mercury was evil because, you know, AIDS.

I can’t believe this dude missed Robert Johnson. I mean, that dude was the first ‘rock’ musician to sell his soul to the devil and you could tell because he played like a motherfucker! I have a hard time believing that most modern artists could have sold their souls because very few can play or write tunes that great.

 

I don’t really know where I wanted to go with this post. I guess I just find it really frustrating to consider myself a Christian when people like the author of this site, Ken Hamm and Kim Davis make it seem like all Christians are hateful, ignorant, racists who think the world is flat and anyone who disagrees with them is evil. I hope I don’t have to tell you that this is not the case.

I believe in Jesus Christ and that he was the son of God. I believe in the Apostle’s Creed. I believe that the important parts of the bible are where Jesus tells us to be good to each other and love one another.

I don’t believe in a literal interpretation of Genesis, and I’m not entirely sure why it matters so much. I don’t have a problem with gay marriage and I’m not sure why we focus so much on that when no one cares about divorce or eating pork or shrimp or any of the other archaic laws in Leviticus. I often find myself curious as to what people get out of writing sites like this or protesting gay weddings. Are they looking for a better spot in heaven? Aren’t all spots in heaven pretty awesome?

I do believe that the Swedish band Ghost is satanic as most of their songs are about Satan. I still like them though, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Listening to Ghost doesn’t make me a devil worshiper any more than watching a slasher movie makes me a serial killer. It’s all in good fun and I can’t help but feel that if God had a problem with it, he’d let me know.

I’ve really been wanting to do a ‘Politics & Religion’ blog for some time, but just can’t seem to get the ball rolling. I know this is a little bit of a scatterbrained post, but let me know what you think of it. Hopefully I can write about those topics more in the future, but do it in the context of rock and roll.

Are You Lost 9


1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nI’d like to think that because I’m such a great writer people are coming to read about my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into search engines and ending up here. After reading fellow blogger Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead folks to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

joan jett gay – She seems pretty happy.

keith richards friends with al jourgensen – Not yet, but like cockroaches and twinkies, they are expected to survive a nuclear holocaust.

Here you go old dude who figured out how to use the internet properly.

Here you go old dude who figured out how to use the internet properly.

porno layne staley – ewww

joan staley tits – Now? Or 1958?

black gives way to blue better than devil put dinosaurs here – I don’t think so.

acid bath song called blue something – “Venus Blue”

danzig shirtless Gee, how long did you have to search to find this?

penis stew bmg – ewww

organ grinder tutorial manson keyboard

how old is maria brink – Old enough to be your mother.

american musical supply catalog with george harrison on the cover

Vic Rattlehead talk to Godmegadeth’s religion

sara x mills naked fully – I actually looked for this on google for a minute before I realized that if the search brought them here… I’m probably not going to find it either.

bad religon hark the yuletide youtube

 

Are You Lost 8?


"Take that Alice, you dirty slut!"

“Take that Alice, you dirty slut!”

naked slut in chains

video the most lust slut – usually I tavel to nudevista.com to find videos like this.

very taboo young nude gallery

 layne staley rage against the machine naked These pictures have different meanings. RATM was protesting the PMRC and Steven Adler was protesting good taste.

scio factory pictures ohio pottery

jerry cantrell pinterest – I’m sure they were looking for pictures of his penis and just 1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nmistyped.

jerry cantrell interview – I’m sure they were looking for pictures of his penis and just mistyped.

jerry cantrell groupie

crazy thing axl rose has done actually, there’s a few. here and here

juggalo face paint drawings

frozen (original motion picture soundtrack)

Demon wings sold separately.

Demon wings sold separately.

rage against the machine clothing usually I get people searching for RATM lack of clothing.

sharlotte horrible nude

danzig lead singer – Yeah, what is that guys name?

The Where’s My Shirt Tour


WHERE’S MY SHIRT 2013-2014

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Iggy and the Stooges, Danzig and Rollins Band

Everyone knows that the reason Iggy Pop is always on tour is because he lost his shirt somewhere on the road during an early Stooges tour and hasn’t been able to find it since.

When we went out on that tour I literally had just the one shirt,” Pop recalls. “And when I lost it, that was it. I’ve been looking for that shirt for forty years.”

The difference with this tour and previous ones is that this time there’s no questioning his motivation. In fact, he’s even joined forced with everbare-chested singer Glenn Danzig as the opening act.

I love Glenn,” Pop said. “I’ve never heard his music or anything, but he has a really nice physique. I like a guy who isn’t afraid to let his chest out.”

Pop will be touring in support of Ready To Die,the fifth album from his group The Stooges. Henry Rollins will be the opening act.

We weren’t sure who to get to open for us. Obviously Glenn and I work well together since we never wear shirts, but we weren’t sure who else to get,” Pop said. “We thought of maybe Soundgarden, but Chris Cornell hasn’t been shirtless since Badmotorfinger. That was really the last good album they did. Miley Cyrus came up a few times, but she’s doing her own thing.”

Will the Where’s My Shirt tour make it to your town? Look below for details…

Sat 12/14/13

Southbridge, MA Mill Street Brews

        

Fri 01/03/14

Norfolk, CT Infinity Hall

        

Sat 01/04/14

Fall River, MA Narrows Center For The Arts

        

Tue 01/07/14

New York, NY B.B. King Blues Club

        

Sat 01/11/14

Frisco, TX The Pub In Frisco

        

Sun 01/19/14

Middletown, NY Brian’s Backyard BBQ

        

Tue 01/21/14

New York, NY B.B. King Blues Club

        

Fri 02/14/14

Morehead City, NC Morehead Center For Performing Arts

        

Sat 02/15/14

Annapolis, MD Rams Head On Stage

        

Sun 02/16/14

Annapolis, MD Rams Head On Stage

        

Fri 02/21/14

Shirley, MA Bull Run Restaurant

        

Sat 03/08/14

South Orange, NJ South Orange Performing Arts Ctr.

        

Sun 03/09/14

Tarrytown, NY The Tarrytown Music Hall

        

Fri 04/04/14

Santa Cruz, CA Moe’s Alley

        

Sat 04/05/14

Jackson, CA Jackson Rancheria Casino & Hotel

        

Tue 05/20/14

Udine, Italy Teatro Nuovo

        

Wed 05/21/14

Milan, Italy Bloom Club

        

Thu 05/22/14

Istres, France L’Usine

        

Fri 05/23/14

Bourgoin Jallieu, France SMAC Les Abattoirs

        

Sat 05/24/14

Lievin, France Arc En Ciel