Trump Returns from Putin Meeting with Black Eye


Washington D.C. – President Trump returned from Helsinki on Tuesday, after spending several romantic days with his Russian counterpart Vladimir Putin. When asked about the shiner on his left eye he insisted he walked into an open door.

The truth was revealed later at a press conference.

“Putin is just under a lot of stress,” said the battered president. “He told me he’ll never do it again and I believe him. You don’t know the pressure he’s under. He has to run not just one country, but two. Do you really think I could do this without him?”

He then returned to the abused woman logic of insisting it was all his fault.

“Look, he started the meeting by saying I couldn’t ask him about Crimea and I did. It’s really all my fault for bringing up that subject as well as asking how we’re going to deal with this whole election meddling thing.”

While I’m sure to those reading this who are not in the US, UK or Ukraine this satirical article is very humorous, I can assure you to many of us in the US it is quite embarrassing.

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Happy Independence Day


 

Disclaimer: While this song has a nice inclusive message of how America is a melting pot of peoples from all around the world, right now might not be a good time to come to America.

Build the Wall!


I got the song “Hot Blooded” stuck in my head yesterday, and it was enough to make me completely change my opinion on immigration. After having to deal with that song for about 20 minutes, I now think we should ban all Foreigner from entering this country.

No “Urgent.” No “Juke Box Hero.” No “Double Vision.” No, I don’t want to know what love is. No “Head Games” or “Dirty White Boy.” No “Separate Ways.” Wait… that’s Journey. Oh well, we’ll ban them too. Just until we figure this thing out.

Don’t think “Hot Blooded” stuck in your head is enough to make you want to build a wall and issue a travel ban? Well, check it.

You’ll see.

 

(Holy crap, I didn’t intend to watch that video. I was just going to post it, but I couldn’t look away. That may be one of the greatest music videos ever filmed!)

Happy Easter


Yet another Easter; yet another chance to reflect on the fact that there are a million and a half Christmas songs and no Easter songs.

Such bullshit.

Wait… What is this? Band named after our Lord and savior? A song about rising? Could this be the perfect Easter song?

 

Happy Easter everyone. Enjoy the chocolate bunnies and colorful eggs.

Happy Birthday Isaac Newton


Today would have been Sir Isaac Newton’s 375th birthday. Newton is perhaps the most well-known and influential scientists to have ever lived. He is credited with developing calculus, the laws of motion, universal gravitation and the binomial theorum.

But what most people don’t know is that he played bass in a high-school band with Keith Richards and Ian Gillan and also designed the cover of Pink Floyd’s album Dark Side of the Moon.

He is also responsible for a delicious type of cookie made of fruit and cake.

Happy Birthday, Isaac Newton!

Trump Promises “Big, Beautiful Scandal”


In the interest of keeping my political rants / satire pieces separate from the music posts I’ve started another blog. If you enjoy this stuff, give the page a like and a follow. If not, just sit back and I’ll get to doing more album reviews soon.

This may not pan out and I might go back to just the one blog, but I wanted to give it a try.

The Suppository

Washington- President Trump promised voters a “big, beautiful scandal” that will be announced by the end of the week.

“It will be, I believe, the biggest scandal in American history,” said Trump. “Bigger than Sally Hemmings, Lincoln’s sexual preference or Calvin Coolidge’s Cocker Spaniel put together. It will be bigger than Watergate. It will be so big that after this we’ll have a new suffix to replace -gate on political scandals.”

President Trump has been facing serious backlash for his firing of FBI Director James Comeyand spilling government secrets to Russian officials. He hopes this new revelation will take the focus off other scandals.

“It’s going to be so yuge that people at my rallies (which are the biggest rallies ever held, bigger than Stalin’s or Castro’s rallies) will begin yelling ‘Lock him up!'” bragged the obviously confused chief executive. “Even sycophants like Paul Ryan and Bob Gibbs are going…

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Why I’m Proud to be an American


 

At a time when it would be easy to feel shame and embarrassment about the state of my country, I’m actually feeling quite optimistic.

Sure, our President is a giant sack of shit who has somehow managed to appear semi-sentient and he and his team have somehow found time in their busy schedule coordinating policy with the Russians to convince 38 percent of Americans that he’s doing a good job.

And the Speaker of the House isn’t any better.

It’s easy to find doomsayers and Chicken Littles on the internet. It’s easy to predict a dystopian future. It’s easy to sit back and bemoan how things are only getting worse.

Do you wanna know what I say?

 

 

 

 

FUCK THAT!

I’ve always found adversity to be the strongest motivator. And the challenges we face are just other names for goals we already wanted to accomplish, but now have the burning desire to see through.

“Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves, that if (we) last for a thousand years, men will still say, This was their finest hour.”

Will it be hard? Yes. Will there be suffering? Yes. Will we persevere? Most definitely.

But millions of Americans have already proven they’re up to the challenge, and that is what makes me proud.

 

“Why stand on a silent platform? Fight the war, fuck the norm.”

Letter to my Representatives


This isn’t the first letter I’ve sent to my congressman over the past few months. I made the decision to share it on here as a way of sharing my view with a larger audience and  (hopefully) make me harder to ignore.

Dear Congressman Gibbs, Speaker Ryan and President Trump, 

 

I started this letter last week, but like the bill it is written to protest it was shelved. I haven’t been extremely interested in the Obamacare repeal. I’m not not in danger of losing coverage. I have health insurance through my employer, and I haven’t seen my rates skyrocket.

 

But my girlfriend is a different matter. She only recently managed to get health insurance through the Medicaid expansion. It’s a lucky thing she did because two weeks ago she she suffered a seizure at work, fell and hit her head. Whereas others would suffer a bruise or concussion from this type of accident, she managed to do heavy damage to her brain. I’m not sure if it’s because she’s had several head injuries in the past, because she suffers from gastroparesis or if she was just unlucky; but she did enough damage to her skull that she’s spent the interim in a bed at Akron General Hospital Intensive Care Unit.

 

She is someone who works hard to make her way in the world, but due to these medical problems the bills have piled up. A few months ago she told me she was considering bankruptcy. Now that she’s in the hospital it has fallen on me to look after her financial matters. I think we’ll be able to catch up with what she already owes, but I’m concerned about the bill we will be receiving for her current treatment.

 

As I said at the beginning, I was hesitant to write this letter. I don’t want to make a political issue of this hardship. It was a relief to learn repeal had stalled because I was confident that, while this is certainly a difficult situation and will take a lot of work to overcome, we would be OK. Now that there’s a law being considered to take away her insurance I’m not so sure. Who will be paying for this hospital stay when that happens? Will they kick her out? Should I start calling bankruptcy lawyers?

 

These are all questions that weigh heavily on my mind. I don’t want to become someone who goes broke due to an illness, but it looks like that’s exactly what will happen.

 

I urge you to vote against this bill. All you will accomplish is to make a situation that’s already hard even more difficult.
Perhaps we should take a page from the Trump handbook. Maybe we’ll send the bill to the President, Speaker of the House and you. But, just like that big, beautiful wall I’m sure we’ll end up footing the bill and we’ll probably have to file for bankruptcy.

Bedtime for Democracy


Apologies for my recent absence dear constant reader. Things have come up that need attention.

Also, apologies for the shift of focus in this blog. We are unfortunate to live in an interesting time and there are things happening that I cannot remain silent about.

I’ll try to keep music in there somewhere.

Here’s a piece I wrote for a WordPress site called “Millenial Democrats.” Expect things in this vein from me in the future. If you’d like to update your subscription preferences to omit me, I’ll understand.

Bedtime for Democracy

But above all else, I’ll try to remain entertaining. That’s always been my primary goal with this.

Feel free to chime in.