Are You Lost 14

Picard Why would you google thatI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

Jerry Cantrell's Tattoojerry cantrell tattoo

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kim dylla toppless – Do you mean without baseball cards?

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www stevie nicks naked pictures free porn – It’s supposed to be www. and then no spaces between any of the words. 

stevie nicks tits

Sarah Wreath. Not Nude

Sarah Wreath. Not Nude

sarah wreth nude – Did you mean Sarah Wreath?

essay about beep vs magnetic ticket – I’m not sure what you mean by that buddy. nude naked nudity girl – That’s actually a pretty clever blog title. I may just change from The Audible Stew.

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maria brink all the way nude – would you settle for just partially nude?


sis sucks moms tits – Not only do I not understand incest porn, I’m also not sure how Google managed to match that search with my site.


Devil Music Volume 1

White_Zombie_La_Sexorcisto_Devil_Music,_Vol._1I made the decision a while ago to focus on positive things and to not find bands (and other music related things) to poke fun at.

But then I ran across this great website, Satan’s Music, and felt compelled to write a post about it. This is great stuff. Click on the link and snoop around for your favorite band. I’ll wait until you get back

Really I shouldn’t make fun of the gentleman who wrote this because he really does know his shit about the occult, satanism, witchcraft, etc. I’m guessing he may be more knowledgeable than Aleister Crowley, Jimmy Page and Anton LaVey put together, but I just can’t help thinking that he’s a little misguided.

Sure, all the normal heavy hitters are here: Ozzy Osbourne, Led Zeppelin, Marilyn Manson, Justin Beiber. Those are the guys we know are into Satan. There’s never been any doubt about this. Just looking at the imagery or reading into their beliefs and interests shows that they were interested in Gothic imagery, the occult, Satanism or were, in fact, the devil himself.

justin-bieber-is-satan1But then there are a lot of artists on this list that I was surprised to see. Elton John is a favorite of mine and I never really thought of him as ‘devil’ music. To be honest I’ve always thought of him as being more toward the side of God. This site let me know that the reference to ‘The howling old owl in the woods’ from “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” was actually a reference to Satan. I wonder if Bernie Taupin knows this.

I’m not going to burn my copy of Yellow Brick Road after reading that, but it is interesting to know.

There are a few fallacies here. An article about industrial thrash band Ministry has them supporting the George HW Bush’s New World Order and the Illuminati when a cursory listen to their music reveals more satirical and antagonistic views of these organizations. And they could really use a fact checker. They have Johnny Cash singing several Glenn Danzig songs, but in fact he’s only sung one. I would be interested in helping out.

There are a few bands I was surprised to see: Eminem, Katy Perry, Bruce Springsteen, DC Talk, Selena Gomez, The Eagles, The Dixie Chicks and U2. I did know Freddy Mercury was evil because, you know, AIDS.

I can’t believe this dude missed Robert Johnson. I mean, that dude was the first ‘rock’ musician to sell his soul to the devil and you could tell because he played like a motherfucker! I have a hard time believing that most modern artists could have sold their souls because very few can play or write tunes that great.


I don’t really know where I wanted to go with this post. I guess I just find it really frustrating to consider myself a Christian when people like the author of this site, Ken Hamm and Kim Davis make it seem like all Christians are hateful, ignorant, racists who think the world is flat and anyone who disagrees with them is evil. I hope I don’t have to tell you that this is not the case.

I believe in Jesus Christ and that he was the son of God. I believe in the Apostle’s Creed. I believe that the important parts of the bible are where Jesus tells us to be good to each other and love one another.

I don’t believe in a literal interpretation of Genesis, and I’m not entirely sure why it matters so much. I don’t have a problem with gay marriage and I’m not sure why we focus so much on that when no one cares about divorce or eating pork or shrimp or any of the other archaic laws in Leviticus. I often find myself curious as to what people get out of writing sites like this or protesting gay weddings. Are they looking for a better spot in heaven? Aren’t all spots in heaven pretty awesome?

I do believe that the Swedish band Ghost is satanic as most of their songs are about Satan. I still like them though, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Listening to Ghost doesn’t make me a devil worshiper any more than watching a slasher movie makes me a serial killer. It’s all in good fun and I can’t help but feel that if God had a problem with it, he’d let me know.

I’ve really been wanting to do a ‘Politics & Religion’ blog for some time, but just can’t seem to get the ball rolling. I know this is a little bit of a scatterbrained post, but let me know what you think of it. Hopefully I can write about those topics more in the future, but do it in the context of rock and roll.


When I was preparing my list for the Top 15 on the 15th I came across a few albums that were close, but didn’t quite make the cut. I’m sure this happened to everyone and I noticed at least on person included them on their post. I didn’t do this because the original post ran long enough as it was and I didn’t want to clutter it up.

After Boppin’s Blog made the suggestion of posting the close calls I found it too hard to resist doing a second post for the almost made its. What can I say? I’m a sucker for a nice list post.

Plus I’ll milk a good idea until it’s completely drained.


The_Crow_soundtrack_album_coverOriginal Motion Picture Soundtrack The Crow (1995) – Definitely would have made the list if it had a better second half.

Fear Factory Demanucacture (1995) – I’m not really into heavy metal as much as I used to be, but this is still one of the defining records of the genre for me.

GWAR We Kill Everything (1999) – GWAR aren’t really a band known for their records. This one is the first I ever bought from them and features some of my favorite songs from like “Fucking an Animal” and “Fishfuck.” Classic.

Ministry Psalm 69 (1992) – Yet again, the metal thing. But this one is right up there with Pantera and Megadeth in terms of thrash brilliance.

Mudvayne The End of All Things To Come (2002) – This is what happened when good musicians played nu-metal.

Red Hot Chili Peppers BloodSugarSexMagic (1991) – I was surprised to not see more RHCP on the top 15 lists. This one is a classic, but for me it’s a Top 25 classic.

Meat Loaf Bat Out Of Hell (1977) – A classic hard rock album that has never been duplicated.

Dead Kennedys Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables (1980) – Where would punk be without the Dead Kennedys? They’re definitely my favorite socially-conscious rockers.

Ozzy Osbourne No More Tears (1991) – I was also surprised by the lack of Ozzy on most lists; but yet again, Top 20.

Tool AEnima gifTool AEnima (1996) – This was right before Tool lost me in their strange heavy prog. But I love this album. Not just for the tunes, but also for the weird interludes.

Nirvana Unplugged in New York (1994) – It’s hard to pick a favorite Nirvana album because they’re all so different. I chose this one because even though it’s missing the loud, distorted guitars and scream-till-you’re-hoarse vocals it displays the beauty of Cobain’s simple songwriting skills.

Fiona Apple When the Pawn… (1999) – This album was right there with Madman Across The Water and Temple of the Dog on my list of “OK, I’m done drinking now and I want to go to sleep” list. As I always had trouble sleeping after too many beers I listened to it a lot. And I’m still pretty in love with it.


I love a great list post. They’re easy to do and usually get a respectable number of views. So when I read about the Top 15 for September 2015 over at 1001albumsin10years I was ready to go. I immediately began compiling the list of my favorite albums of all time (at this particular moment). This was a massive undertaking that took me about the same amount of time as any other post.

And don’t try to argue with me about the order and/or inclusion/exclusion of any particular album. I used the highly scientific method of my own personal preferences so you can’t argue with me! The only condition I set was that I wouldn’t include two albums by the same band. Looking back, I wish I’d set a limit on years (It’s almost exclusively 1994 and 1996).

But enough preface – Let’s Go!


the offspring smash cover15 The Offspring Smash (1994) The crown jewel in the early 90’s punk revival.

14 Acid Bath Paegan Terrorism Tactics (1996) The crown jewel in southern-sludge-doom metal.

13 Pink Floyd The Wall  (1979) This was one of my favorite albums in high school. Does everyone go through a time in their lives when this album describes everything you feel about the world? It sure seems to touch on some pretty universal themes.

12 Queens of the Stone Age Songs For The Deaf (2002) Oddly enough, I’ve never been able to get into any QOTSA albums aside from this one. It’s just so great that all of their other work pales in comparison. It’s definitely one of those ‘lightning in a bottle’ albums.

11 Pantera The Great Southern Trendkill (1996) You know the big 4 of 80’s thrash metal? Fuck ’em. Pantera could chew them all up and spit them out. Trendkill makes this list because I find it to be the most cohesive of their albums and it contains Dimebag’s best solo, “Floods.”


10 Soundgarden Superunknown (1994)

9 Pearl Jam Ten (1991) – I can still remember the first time I heard this album. I’d already heard a lot of hullabaloo about Pearl Jam and after listening I just though ‘So that’s what all the fuss is about.’

8 Weezer S/T (The Blue Album) (1994)

Electric Larryland7 The Butthole Surfers Electric Larryland (1996) This album is the greatest mixture of noise rock and pop punk ever recorded. I did have Nirvana in this slot, but I think I like the Butthole Surfers better.

6 The Beatles S/T (The White Album) (1968) The Beatles should appear on every best of list. The trouble is that it’s extremely difficult to pick just one Beatles album to put on a best of list. I cheated by choosing the double album.

5 Elton John Tumbleweed Connection (1970) I find it extremely difficult to choose between this, Madman Across the Water and Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. I could have easily put them all on this list, but I didn’t want it to just be a list of my favorite Elton John albums. This one wins because there are no songs on it that I don’t love. I don’t love “Indian Sunset” or “Gray Seal.”

4 Nine Inch Nails The Downward Spiral (1994) I was a really depressed teenager. This album helped me to make it through those dark years by letting me know I wasn’t alone in feeling the way I did.

Ramones_-_Ramones_cover3 The Ramones S/T (1976) The prototype for the greatest American rock and roll band… and for the thousands who would imitate them.

2 Alice in Chains Jar of Flies (1994) This album makes it onto this list for the same reason as The Downward Spiral, but appealed to a different part of depression.


1 Temple of the Dog S/T (1991) May not be the #1 album ever, but it’s definitely the best album from the 90’s. And probably the 80’s too.


So there’s my list. What do you think? I love this event and I’d be down to doing it every few years. Mainly just to see how these lists change. And the best part is that now I have a pretty cool list of albums to review in the near future.

Make sure you stop by Lebrain’s site as he did the heavy lifting and linked to all the sites of people participating in this event.


The Rolling Stones “Sticky Fingers” (2015 Deluxe Edition)

Vinyl records collectorsI’ve mentioned before that I’m a newcomer to the Stones’ fold. Of course I’ve always been aware of them and familiar with their music, but it wasn’t until I bought Hot Rocks 1964-1971 last November that I truly became a fan. Since then I’ve been slowly filling in the gaps in my Stones knowledge. I picked up Exile on Main Street from the library and when I saw that Sticky Fingers was getting a deluxe treatment I put it on my hold list. It finally came in last week.

I’m really glad I didn’t buy it. That’s not to say Sticky Fingers isn’t a great album. I enjoy it more than Exile. It’s definitely more concise, and for that reason feels more focused to me. But I’m not entirely sold on the bonus disc. Personally I couldn’t justify spending the extra money for it.

And if I’m going to buy a copy of Sticky Fingers it better come with the working zipper!

I’m guessing you’ve already heard Sticky Fingers so I don’t want to go on about the original album. I was already familiar with “Brown Sugar” and “Wild Horses” from Hot Rocks. I know it’s a little misogynistic (and probably racist), but “Brown Sugar” gets stuck in my head whenever the cute Mexican girl at work walks by and “Horses” makes me feel something. I’m not really sure what, but that tune is trying really hard to evoke emotions. “Can’t You Hear Me Knocking” and “Bitch” are some new hard rocking favorites. I’m loving that riff on “Knocking.” I think it may be one of Keith’s best. I’m familiar with “Dead Flowers” from a punked up cover a local band did years ago. It’s a great country-twinged tune that doesn’t sound much like the Stones. I’m not a big fan of the slow “I Got The Blues,” but maybe as I get more familiar with it I’ll like it more.


When it comes to the bonus disc the thing that sticks out is that Keith Richards is horrible at backing vocals! I love the acoustic version of “Wild Horses” not so much for the stripping away of the leads, but more because Jagger’s voice sounds so great solo. And the version of “Brown Sugar” with Eric Clapton suffers not so much from his lackluster slide performance, but from a mix that raises Richards’ voice.

Alternate takes of “Can’t You Hear Me Knocking” (a much shorter one), “Bitch” and “Dead Flowers” are also on the disc. I’d have to say the band made the right choice when choosing which versions to put on the album, but it is neat to hear some outtakes. “Flowers” is the most different (and interesting).

The bonus disc is rounded out with 5 live songs “at the Roundhouse, 1971.” I can’t say I’m blown away by these. I’m guessing someone more familiar with the material would like them more, but to me they’re just so-so. Perhaps I’ll revisit them someday and hear them differently. The only one I’m really familiar with is “Honky Tonk Women,” another song that suffers from too much Keith Richard singing.


Why is is that Charlie Watts looks so cool in this picture? He has that weird haircut and goofy smirk, but I’d just really like to hang out with him. If you’re wondering what I see when I think of ‘Englishman,’ this is pretty close.

The worst part of the deluxe version is the complete lack of liner notes. Perhaps this was just my library copy, but all I got was a photo booklet. They were neat photos, but I’d like to read some stories and/or insights from the band and/or those involved in the recording.

Sticky Fingers gets a 4/5 stars, but the Deluxe Edition gets a not worth the money/5 stars.

Eyes Set To Kill “Masks”

Eyes Set To Kill - Masks

(17 Sept 2013, Century Media)

Masks is a strange pairing of things I love about modern metal and things I hate about modern metal. And it’s all rolled into one nice package like a burrito made of Barbecue Pulled Pork and mushrooms. It mixes the delicious with the disgusting, but thankfully it’s heavy on the delicious.

As I wrote the first time I saw them with Wednesday 13, the thing that interested me was that they were described as a female fronted screamo band. I’ve never been a fan of screamo, metal-core, post hardcore or most other -core genres of music; but I’ve also never seen one fronted by a female. When I saw them, they didn’t seem like a screamo band, but that was after vocalist Cisko Miranda left the band. Miranda was credited with ‘unclean vocals’ on the album, and the thing I dislike most about screamo is the screaming. It’s not that I’m against screaming. I just really don’t care for the monotonous, arrhythmical way of belting out (supposedly) deep and emotional lyrics that metal-core singers have. If you’re going to sing something worth hearing, sing it in a way I can understand.

Thankfully, most of the songs are sung by guitarist/keyboardist Alexia Rodriguez. She’s credited with ‘clean vocals,’ but her delivery is a little bit forced. By that I mean that she’s screaming just enough to make her voice a little scratchy and not the usual female pretty that you hear from most chicks.

I love the songs she sings like “Where I Want To Be” and “Infected.” “Little Liar” is the song they played at that show where I decided I would buy the album.


I’m hoping that they focus more on the Alexia songs going forward. I look at their past records and see that they’ve always had a male voice doing unclean vocals so I’m not really that interested to check out their back catalog, but I am looking forward to their next release.

Another thing I don’t particularly care for with this band is how every picture focuses on the Rodriguez sisters (Anissa plays bass) without including longtime drummer Caleb Clifton. I’m wondering if the departure of Miranda was less about musical differences than a marketing ploy to feature the eye candy in Eyes Set To Kill. As a father I’m always on the lookout for positive female role models who target talent over good looks. Sure, they’re beautiful girls, but what got me to buy the album was their awesome hard rock songs, not their legs (although those are nice too).