Dear February, Go Fuck Yourself

It's so cold that Randy is almost wearing a shirt.

It’s so cold that Randy is almost wearing a shirt.

Unless you live on a continent far, far away from me you know it’s been extremely cold this week. And the worst is set to come tomorrow when that damn polar vortex comes again. Hell, it’s so cold Lake Erie is 94 percent frozen over.

I’ve taken to playing a game with the weather app on my phone where I search for places where the weather sucks worse than it does in New Philadelphia, OH. So far the only places I’ve come across with lower temperatures are Green Bay, Wisconsin and Omsk, Russia (Siberia). Close contenders are Bangor, Maine and Nuuk, Greenland.

But Nome, Alaska; McMurdo Station, Antarctica and Helsinki, Finland have been posting warmer temperatures than home all week.

I want to move to Venus where the average temperature is 864 degrees Fahrenheit, but that isn’t economically viable at the moment so I will just fight the winter blues the best way I know how.

With Katrina & The Waves!


Keep warm North America!


8 thoughts on “Dear February, Go Fuck Yourself

  1. Pingback: Are You Lost 11 | The Audible Stew

    • That gets a thumbs up from me. It’s only supposed to be between -14 and absolute zero here.
      I guess I should be thankful I don’t live in Canada, eh?


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