So You Wanna Start A Band? 5


imagesThis is a series of band tips. I’ve learned enough playing in bands to have some wisdom to pass on. I notice a lot of awful things bands pass off as normal behavior and hope I can make the world a better place by helping to prevent this. I don’t profess to know everything about ‘how to make it in the music biz.’ If I did I would be writing this from a tour bus and not my apartment. At the moment my band has 302 likes on Facebook, 313 followers on Twitter and 938 fans on Reverbnation. We do well playing out and people enjoy our stuff; however, if you disagree with my views I encourage you to share your own. This tutorial is intended to help people catch up with where I’m at or surpass me. If you have another way of doing things which will bring more success I’d love to hear it.

Today’s tip comes from a fellow musician’s Facebook comment:

Band tip #3: You can practice until you are blue in the face, play flawlessly, act professionally and still the ass clowns dressed in super hero costumes that can barely play three coherent chords will draw a bigger crowd than you do. Get over it and move on.

When I first read this post I thought of it as a complaint from a bitter old man whose band isn’t as successful as he’d like. Then I realized I agree with him. Which didn’t change my mind, just proves that I’m also a bitter old man whose band isn’t as successful as I’d like.

Usually long beards make people look like Duck Dynasty, but Jim Root's beard makes him look like someone from ancient Assyrian art

Usually long beards make people look like Duck Dynasty, but Jim Root’s beard makes him look like someone from ancient Assyrian art

This comment came a few months ago; before all the hullabaloo about the new Slipknot album started and mask metal became viable again. I was thinking the genre where more emphasis is placed on the masks and costumes the performers wear than the music (Slipknot, Mushroomhead, Sykosis, Hollywood Undead, Lordi, Insane Clown Posse, Kiss) was dying out and before long I wouldn’t have to put up with this bullshit anymore. I was thinking these jackasses would eventually fall out of favor enough that they would stop getting gigs and I wouldn’t have to listen to the crap that they call “art” because their too busy painting their faces, masks and testicles to learn how to play instruments.

Then fucking Slipknot announced they were releasing a new album. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed music from Slipknot. I still think Vol. 3: The Subliminal Verses is a really good album. I also enjoy stuff from Mushroomhead and a few other masked assholes. But what really turns my stomach is that instead of hearing anything about the music on the new album or the two songs I’ve already heard everybody wants to focus on in the new masks.

Kudos! Way to keep it all about the music guys.

I suppose when two of the guys in your band only have the responsibility of hitting kegs with baseball bats and designing masks you have to give them their time in the spotlight.

They finally revealed their new drummer!

They finally revealed their new drummer!

I suppose at least when you wear a mask in your band you don’t have people yelling “Hey, there goes that dumb ass who makes horrible music!” as you walk down the street. Which happens to me (and I’m guessing my commentator) all the time.

 

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One thought on “So You Wanna Start A Band? 5

  1. Pingback: So You Wanna Start A Band 6 | The Audible Stew

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