The Next Big Thing?

And now for something completely differentWhile brainstorming for the post “I don’t like rap music because I’m racist” I made a mental list of all the areas of the world with musicians I listen to. I found it to be pretty complete. It includes: Al Jourgenson (Ministry) from Cuba, Max Cavalera (Soulfly, Killer Be Killed) from Brazil, Rodrigo y Gabriella (Mexico), Gojira from France, Rammstein from Germany, In Flames and Ghost from Sweden, Seether from South Africa, Freddy Mercury (Queen) from Tanzania, Rivergate from Algeria and Anarchadia from Syria.

I don’t include any Canadian or British artists here because the culture and music of those countries with my own is so similar that occasionally I don’t know a group/artist is a foreigner until someone tells me.

But still, if you look at my list you’ll notice a big, big (quite huge) gap. Asia. I realized that I don’t listen to any music from Asia. Sure, I enjoy George Harrison’s ditties on the sitar and I loved Mike Myer’s version of “More Than Words” from the Love Guru, but other than that… I don’t listen to Asian music.

I don’t even like the band called Asia.

Then I came across something completely different. Something that will divide my readers right down the middle with some saying ‘This is total garbage!’ and the other have saying ‘This is somewhat garbage!’

That’s right, I’m talking about BABYMETAL!!!!!

What I’ve heard of this band has been overwhelmingly negative. “Cool” people seem to absolutely detest them. And if that wasn’t reason enough to fall in love with them I am actually digging their musice.

The best part about it is that it’s different. That’s always one of the first things I look at with a new band. Do they have their own sound? Do they have their own style? Or are they just a cheap knockoff of Slipknot/Metallica/Slayer/Whatever the kids are into this week? BABYMETAL is different from anything I’ve heard. Sure, I’ve heard slut-pop (they refer to it as J-Pop or Teen Pop) and heavy metal, but why it took so long to mix the two genres is anyone’s guess. It’s one of those things that once it’s done makes you thing ‘Why didn’t I think of that?’

Another cool thing is that I’m sure this group is introducing young people to guitar-based music. I don’t know if you’ve checked out the Billboard Hot 100 lately, but it isn’t exactly brimming over with virtuoso musicians. As a fan of guitar-based music, I’ll take any help I can to conquer the world with guitar music!

BABYMETAL: Not any more ridiculous than Slipknot.

BABYMETAL: Not any more ridiculous than Slipknot.

Let’s only hope that they don’t stop their touring in Japan and that someday Lady Gaga has to open for them.




Are You Lost, Se7en?

1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nI’d like to think that because I’m such a great writer people are coming to read about my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into search engines and ending up here. After reading fellow blogger Mike Delano’s posts about what search terms lead folks to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

porn below 15 years age – Are you looking for pornographic images of people under 15 years old or pornographic images of people over the age of 18 that were done no later than 1999?

heavy rubber boot girl

marilyn manson mike patton – Sounds like a pretty cool collaboration to me

ewan mcgregor alice in chains – This one not so much.

Columbus skyline from Crew Stadium

Columbus skyline from Crew Stadium

columbus skyline – someone had to be really bored to google this.

sarah ball nude

bühler care icons

young taboo lnaturist nudism forbidden

jerry cantrell’s penis – After I managed to stop laughing and shouting ‘why would you search for that!’ I did a google search and found out that there is actually a lot of buzz about this at the moment… I’m learning so many awful things about Alice in Chains doing this blog.

shit horrible

shit horrible

i can’t believe a girl is playing me metallica – Is this their new single? Or was some guy so surprised a girl was playing Metallica for him that his first reaction was to google it?

shit horrible

tom arraya naked – ?????WHY????!!!!???

joey jordison naked

in this moment band is all gimmick – I’d disagree. 75% tops.

fleetwood metal girls naked?

fleetwood metal girls naked?

helluva fight live

sarah palin – It bothers me more that a google search for Sarah Palin led someone to my blog than it does that people searching for kiddie porn end up here.

fleetwood metal girls naked – Would you believe it’s easier to find nude pictures of Stevie Nicks on Google than to find pictures of her in her underwear?

ray charles racist rap music


So You Wanna Start A Band IV

imagesI’ve decided to do a series of band tips. I figure my band is successful enough and I’ve learned enough to have some wisdom to pass on. I’ve been doing it for a while and notice a lot of awful things bands pass off as normal behavior so hopefully I can make the world a better place by helping to prevent this. I don’t profess to know everything about ‘how to make it in the music biz.’ If I did I would be writing this from the lounge of a tour bus and not the free couch in my cheap apartment (Or maybe I would be writing it from this couch between tours). At the moment my band has 277 likes on Facebook, 273 followers on Twitter and 835 fans on Reverbnation. We do well playing out and people enjoy our stuff; however, if you disagree with my views I encourage you to share your own. This tutorial is intended to help people catch up with where I’m at or surpass me. If you have another way of doing things which will bring more success I’d love to hear it.

Part 4: Stop trying to look cool

Seriously… It isn’t working.

The only reason these guys look so cool is because they wrote songs like "Sick of You," "Saddam A GoGo" and "Fuckin an Animal"  If it hadn't been for that they'd look as stupid as you.

The only reason these guys look so cool is because they wrote songs like “Sick of You,” “Saddam A GoGo” and “Fuckin an Animal”
If it hadn’t been for that they’d look as stupid as you.

This is the perfect look to emulate if you want to look like an asshole.

This is the perfect look to emulate if you want to look like an asshole.



Juggalos 4 life.

Juggalos 4 life.

Reznor 90s
















How did the Insane Clown Posse manage to look cooler than you?






Really, a leather jacket and some long hair is all you need.




Rick Neilsen looks cooler than you.

Rick Neilsen looks cooler than you.









The harder you try to look cool, the more you look like this.

The harder you try to look cool, the more you look like this.











This is how stupid I look onstage so I don't know why you'd take advise from me.

This is how stupid I look onstage so I don’t know why you’d take advise from me


You don't look like Motley Crue. You look like skinny guys who have spent waaaay too much time in prison.

You don’t look like Motley Crue. You look like skinny guys who have spent waaaay too much time in prison.

Just be yourself. Whoever you are, that’s the only way you’re going to look cool.

If you enjoy this post you may also enjoy So You Wanna Start A Band? So You Wanna Join A Band or So You Wanna Start A Band Too?

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