Companies like Musician’s Friend and American Musical Supply do a great job of connecting aspiring musicians with instruments, accessories and amplification, but they don’t connect these future rock stars with what they really need to make it big: Bandmates!
The real money is to be found not in selling $2000 guitars to rich kid who will just get bored and let it collect dust in the corner of the bedroom, but to sell the perfect vocalist, guitarist or drummer to that guy who really wants to make it in a band and just needs another person who shares his enthusiasm, determination and complete and utter lack of talent.
Now that you’ve contacted all of your friends, put up a flyer in the local music store and posted your ad on Craigslist it’s time to try the one way to guarantee you find the right musicians for your project.
The Jordison – This overrated drummer comes complete with his own blank faced mask, signature snare drum and enormous ego. Guaranteed to take all the credit for your band’s success and get on every nerve of every person in your band by acting like he’s the greatest drummer who ever lived.
MSRP – $70, 597
The guy who should have given up years ago – Remember that band that was really huge in your area about a decade ago but then broke up when the guitar player moved to Sheboygan? Nobody else does either – except this guy!
MSRP – $12
The guy you’ve been in three bands with already and you always end up in a huge fight and one of you quits but he’s the only drummer in town so you’re going to give it one more shot and things will be different this time – A match made in a battered womens shelter! Or Jerry Springer.
MSRP – $78 and some car parts
The guy in 3 bands already – He’s ready and available to jam on the second Thursday of every month and the fourth Tuesday. Scheduling shows is always a problem, but if yours is the band to make it big and earn a lot of money he may quit one of the others.
MSRP – $95
Check out this month’s specials on Live Sound Engineers!
Sound guy who will heckle your band – $40
Sound guy who will get drunk – $60
Sound guy who will leave early – $25
Sound guy who will show up late – $40
Sound guy who will show up late, get drunk, heckle your band and leave early – $126