Bands I Used To Love


I’ve been pretty consistent with my musical tastes for most of my life. I started out listening to the same stuff as my mom, but after discovering Soundgarden’s ‘Black Hole Sun’ I started to forge my own path. And the cool thing is that I’ve stayed on that path pretty consistently for 20 years. I believe the copies I have of Nirvana’s Incesticide and Alice in Chains are the original ones I bought in junior high. I also remember buying Pearl Jam’s Ten, a live Sex Pistols and Hole’s Live Through This on some of those early CD excursions. But nearly every path has a few side trips and there are a few musicians I don’t care much for anymore.

 

silverchair – The last time I listened to Frogstomp I couldn’t help thinking it hasn’t aged very well. I remember loving that band when I first heard them, but after the last listening it sounded dated and juvenile. I still give them props for recording a lasting album at such a young age, but I’m glad no one was recording the crap I was writing at 15.

Limp Bizkit – Yes, I bought the first Limp Bizkit album. No, not Significant Other, the one before that. I read about them in a Guitar World interview and really like Wes Borland’s guitar work. But then they got huge and all the jocks started wearing their t-shirts and their music became less about interesting guitar work than about the nookie, yeah, the nookie, come on, the nookie.

Shadows Fall – Well, I didn’t really love them. I just liked them a little. But then I got really, really bored with them.

Techno – Much like my interest in professional wrestling this didn’t last very long. I’d probably enjoy it more with Ecstasy.

We might not really be total assholes, but we sure go to great lengths to look like we are.

We might not really be total assholes, but we sure go to great lengths to look like we are.

Five Finger Death Punch – When I first heard ‘The Bleeding’ it was a breath of fresh air. It sounded like no metal being played at the time. It was new, exciting and different. Unfortunately everyone else felt the same way and 5FDP have produce 4 or 5 albums that sound exactly like that first one.

Dope – Ah, who am I kidding. I still love their first 2 albums.

Linkin Park – Judging from the used CD section at my local FYE I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Godsmack – I was doomed to like Godsmack because I was such a huge Alice in Chains fan. And they were really good on their first album. I still liked them on the second one too. I bought one somewhere later, but I’ve since lost it. They suffered not only from the paradigm shift that drove me away from bands like Limp Bizkit and 5FDP but also from the fact that their singer is an insufferable asshole. I don’t even like Motley Crue but I’d take Nikki Sixx’s side in whatever that feud is about.

The Grateful Dead – I used to smoke pot, but I don’t think it was a huge problem because I put The Dead on this list and not Phish.

You know your music career is in the shitter when you have to product pro wrestling to pay the bills.

You know your music career is in the shitter when you have to product pro wrestling to pay the bills.

The Smashing Pumpkins – Billy Corgan is looking to be the next Axl Rose with the asshole things he’s been saying in the press saying he and Kurt Cobain were the only significant songwriters of the 90’s. And then he started talking trash about the Foo Fighters. I have to give him credit for getting press, but none of it makes me want to listen to the new album. Or even an old album.

 

So are there any band you listened to that you’re embarrassed to admit?

Fuck Censorship


 

Don’t you just love censorship? I know I do. I don’t think there’s anything better than being told that even though I’m legally old enough to smoke, drink, rent a car, marry or die for my country I’m still not responsible enough to decide what goes into my ear holes. Seriously, I like a good ‘fuck’ or ‘shit’ or ‘cock knuckle’ as much as the next guy. So who does Walmart or the FCC think they are trying to hide all this shit from me? Are they trying to protect me? Or do they just want to not offend people?

I think the most common form of censorship is probably the BEEP! You know, the one you hear when Johnny Cash sings “I’m the BEEP! who named you Sue.” It was so popular that Queens of the Stone Age copied it on my copy of Songs For The Deaf. The crazy thing is how cool it sounds on the song “Six Shooter.” The tune starts out quiet and distant, but whenever Mark Lanegan says ‘fuck’ they cover it up with a BEEP! loud enough to cover up all the ‘fucks’ in the song.

parental_advisoryI have a 20th Century Masters CD of Monster Magnet that does the same thing. I don’t understand why they BEEP! out the word ‘drug’ in “Tractor.” At first I thought he was driving a tractor on the goddamn farm, but according to google it’s a drug farm. I didn’t realize drug was a dirty word.

And while we’re on the subject of Monster Magnet, has anyone ever heard a version of “Space Lord” where he sings “Space Lord Motherfucker”? Or is it always “Mother Mother”?

According to the liner notes in the Ziggy Stardust movie when ABC aired the film as a movie of the week they put the annoying BEEP! over all of the mentions of death and suicide. I’m not sure how they managed to cover up the overall homo eroticism.

Then there’s censorship by omission. Sometimes instead of a BEEP! they just remove the offending word from the album. I was really surprised to hear how many times Corey Taylor says ‘motherfucker’ in the song “Get Inside” from Stone Sour’s debut five years after I first got my Walmart copy! Seriously, I had no idea there were so many mother f-bombs on that song. I was also always very confused by the line “So you fed me to digest” from “Bother.” Of course, add the word ‘shit’ and the line make sense.

RATM PMRCI think the worst is when they sort of dodge or scrub the offending word out of the song. If you’ve ever heard the song “Everything Zen” on the radio you know Gavin Rossdale is thinking of flying to Los Angeles to find his Ershrole brother. Or have you ever heard the Stabbing Westward song “Save Yourself”? You have to save yourself because he is not your savior, he is just as fushshcked as you. Seriously censors, go with option 1 or 2. Door number 3 is just awful. At least NIN changed “Starfuckers, Inc.” to “Starsuckers, Inc.” it’s still a word. I’m not sure how the Rolling Stones got away with it.

I remember someone telling me that even after 400 years America still hasn’t shaken off the puritan mindset that originally brought the ultra religious to our shores. I know watching MuchMusic back in the day it was always cool to see the different Canadian videos. I remember Radiohead’s “Paranoid Android” had some mermaid boobs that were covered in the US version.

So is censorship bad in other countries? Do any of my international readers have any idea what I’m writing about? Do they BEEP! ‘bloody hell’ and ‘bollocks’ in England?

We all know that the only things that really need to be censored are David Bowie’s crotch from the movie Labyrinth and the Adam Sandler song “Ode To My Car.”

Are You Lost 12


1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nI like to think it’s because I’m such a great writer that people are coming to read my thoughts on music. Of course, what’s really happening is that people are typing crazy shit into Google and somehow ending up here. After reading Lebrain’s posts about what search terms lead to his site I thought it would be fun to share what leads people to The Audible Stew.

taboo nudity – Isn’t all nudity taboo?lovesexy

nude techno album cover

stevie nicks greatest hits wallpaper

axl rose agora

guns roses stew – I wonder what this would taste like.

rock on the range nude tumblr

wheelchair crowd surfing

rock on the range wet t shirts tumblr

0511-vulvatron-getty-4 kim dyllakim dylla naked/ kim dylla nude/ kim dylla toppless – I’m sure she’s a very lovely girl, but why would you want to see any member of GWAR naked?

nude and naket l kinr uar girt – Does any body know what language this is?

icp mr bungle

 

maria brink insane clown posse

little richard/manson – I’m not sure, but I may be the only person to ever compare Little Richard to Marilyn Manson.

 

björk nude – this makes a little more sense than the Kim Dylla searches. Not much more sense, but a little.

SYWSAB 9


Free Shitty AdviceSo You Wanna Start A Band? Part 9

I’ve learned enough playing in bands over the years to have some wisdom to pass on. I see a lot of awful things bands pass off as normal behavior and hope I can make the world a better place by helping prevent this. I don’t know everything about ‘how to make it in the music biz.’ If I did I would be writing this from a tour bus and not my apartment. If you disagree with my views I encourage you to share your own. If you have another way of doing things which brings more success I’d love to hear it.

No Excuses

Have you ever walked up to a band after a gig and said “Gee, you guys really screwed the pooch,” or “Wow, you really suck!”

No, of course you haven’t. That would be rude. For the most part whenever a band has a bad gig you probably just slip out a side door and head home to avoid having to talk to them afterward. It’s much easier to lie and say “You guys really rocked” on Facebook or via text message.

But if you were to tell one of the thousands of awful bands that their performance was anything less than stellar you would no doubt be inundated with a slew of excuses as to why their performance didn’t rock your socks off.

These include (but are not limited to): Joey got too drunk before the show, the sound guy is an asshole, We sound better in the studio, Steve got too drunk before the show and fell off the stage, I couldn’t hear myself in the monitors, It was San Andreas fault, Tom got too drunk before the show and was out of tune, Steve was just yelling a lot to try and get the crowd riled up, the sound guy is incompetent, Joe got really wasted before the show, there weren’t enough people in the venue to soak up the ambient sound and make the acoustics work properly, you’re a total dick and don’t understand what we’re trying to do or that acid was a lot stronger than you said.

I love how Scott Weiland blames that awful performance on bad monitors. Dude, you’ve been singing “Vaseline” for 21 years!

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a band say ‘we just really weren’t prepared. We should have practiced more.’ Or ‘Sorry man. We just had a really off night.’ But then again taking ownership of your actions requires a level of maturity most people in bands don’t have.

Of course, if you walk up to a band after a show and say “Hey man, great show” they just say “Thanks.” Because bands that are great and know what they’re doing have no excuses.

 

More Shitty Advice:

Part 8 – The Covers Debate

Part 7 – Take Advice

Part 6 – Learn to Play an Instrument

Part 5 – People Love Stupid Costumes

Part 4 – Stop Trying To Look Cool

Part 3 – Get Over It

Part 2 – So You Wanna Join A Band?

Part 1 – The Right Reasons

New Music


Heavy Metal 2000 CD coverI’ve seen a few posts where people list the music they’ve bought and give a little commentary on it. I find these posts pretty interesting so I thought I’d try my hand at one. Plus I was curious as to how much money I spend on music. I was hoping to make it a year before I posted this, but after six months the list it already pretty long. So here we go!

21 Nov 2014 (Amazon.com)
The Beatles – The White Album       $11.31
Soundtrack – Heavy Metal 2000       $4.61
Soundtrack – The Cable Guy            $4

Somewhere along the way I lost my copies of the White Album and the Heavy Metal 2000 soundtrack and it was time I replaced them. I thought I’d pick up the Cable Guy while I was at it.

hot-rocks22 Nov 2014 (FYE New Town Mall New Philadelphia, OH)
The Rolling Stones – Hot Rocks 1964-1971   $19.99
Nine Inch Nails- Pretty Hate Machine            $7.99
Ray Charles – Anthology                                Free

It seems weird that I went 31 years without owning any Rolling Stones music. And it seems even worse that it took a BUY 2 GET 1 FREE ON USED CDs sale to get me to buy it. I still might not have any Rolling Stones music if it weren’t for the fact that FYE doesn’t have much of a selection (unless you really love Linkin Park). The copy of Pretty Hate Machine is a remastered version with the cover of Queen’s “Get Down Make Love” added. This is the second or third time I’ve bought that Ray Charles disc. My mom keeps stealing it.

2 Jan 2015 (The Exchange Canton, OH)Independent Worm Saloon
Wednesday 13 – Spook & Destroy                     $6
Butthole Surfers- Independent Worm Saloon     $5
Elton John – Honky Chateau                               $7
Blind Melon                                                         $1

I know I’ve said of Wednesday 13 that one of the things I love about his music is that I can sing along without ever having heard it before, but I’ve been wanting a disc for a while. “Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters” is one of my favorite Elton John songs but wasn’t in my collection until I got it here. And how could I pass up the Butthole Surfers and Blind Melon discs for those prices?

17 Jan 2015 (FYE)
Filter – Title of Record                                       $1.50
Ray Charles – Live at Montreux (DVD)             $3

They were having some kind of deal. I gave the DVD to my mom so hopefully she wont steal the CD again.

Eyes Set To Kill - Masks23 Jan 2015 (The Agora Cleveland, OH)
Eyes Set to Kill – Masks                                     $10

Picked this one up the last time I saw Wednesday 13.

 

 

 

21 Feb 2015 (Amazon.com MP3)
Killler Be Killed                                                $7.99
Kittie- I’ve Failed You                                      $6.99
The Very Best of Kiss                                     $5.99
The Last Internationale – We Will Reign         $7.99

Kiss is another band I didn’t have anything by. I usually try to buy 3 or so albums at a time from Amazon.

alice-in-chains-dirt-album-cover25 April 2015 (FYE)
Wednesday 13 – Transylvania 90210                               $7.99
Alice in Chains – Dirt                                                         $2.99
Murderdolls – Beyond the Valley of the Murderdolls        $4.99
Screaming Trees – Sweet Oblivion                                  $1.99

This was a BUY 1 GET 1 HALF OFF Sale. I actually sold the Spook & Destroy disc after buying Transylvania 90210. I needed a replacement Dirt because mine was scratched to hell. I gave it to the Goodwill for someone else to enjoy, but they’ll only be able to enjoy about half of it. I had Sweet Oblivion on my Amazon wishlist, but I really made out here because I managed to get it much cheaper.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall2 May 2015
Bad Religion – Stranger Than Fiction                                 $6
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (BluRay)                                   $5

I love the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but that may just be because I find frontal male nudity hilarious.

13 May 2015 (FYE)
Faith No More 3 Disc Set (Epic & Other Hits, The Real Thing and Angel Dust)     $7.49
Alice in Chains – Unplugged (CD+DVD)                                                                  $23.99

I actually passed up this FNM collection a week earlier, but then I heard Sol Invictus online and decided it was definitely worth the money. I’ve had my eye on this Unplugged CD + DVD and I finally gave up on the price going down.

Faith_No_More_-_Sol_Invictus_Album_Cover20 May 2015 (Amazon.com MP3)
Faith No More – Sol Invictus                                       $7.99
Elton John – Madman Across the Water                    $5.99

I ripped my copy of Madman from my mom’s old scratched to hell CD and the disc was so messed up that I could still hear skips listening to it in MP3 form. I’ve never had this happen before. So I got a replacement because I hate buying just one album from Amazon and I had to get Sol Invictus. 

So those are my new additions. How do you think I made out?

Happy Monday


I’ve done a pretty good job of posting ever Saturday so far this year; but alas, last Saturday life got the better of me and I missed my deadline.

So here’s something that will hopefully make it up to you. It always makes me smile.

 

And out of curiosity, what do you all think of posting on Saturday? Do you like it? Dislike it? Do any of you find you get better hits on different days?