Are You Lost 8?


"Take that Alice, you dirty slut!"

“Take that Alice, you dirty slut!”

naked slut in chains

video the most lust slut – usually I tavel to nudevista.com to find videos like this.

very taboo young nude gallery

 layne staley rage against the machine naked These pictures have different meanings. RATM was protesting the PMRC and Steven Adler was protesting good taste.

scio factory pictures ohio pottery

jerry cantrell pinterest - I’m sure they were looking for pictures of his penis and just 1910001_10202366648590091_7589657265662642234_nmistyped.

jerry cantrell interview – I’m sure they were looking for pictures of his penis and just mistyped.

jerry cantrell groupie

crazy thing axl rose has done actually, there’s a few. here and here

juggalo face paint drawings

frozen (original motion picture soundtrack)

Demon wings sold separately.

Demon wings sold separately.

rage against the machine clothing usually I get people searching for RATM lack of clothing.

sharlotte horrible nude

danzig lead singer – Yeah, what is that guys name?

The Hottest Rock Stars


After my tasteless post a few weeks ago on the best songs to play while committing suicide, I thought it would be appropriate if I were to do a totally misogynistic post to repulse my remaining readers. So I present you…

THE HOTTEST ROCK STARS

Maria BrinkMaria Brink of In This Moment – I like what she’s doing artistically with the old-timey lingerie and the tinfoil bunny ears; but personally, I thought she looked better with her clothes on.

Christina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil – Another one I’ve never understood. I hear she has nice feet?

Joan Jett – I never cared much for her until I saw that movie The Runaways. Now I love rock and roll.

Pink – I fell in love at about :45 when she starts jumping rope. Like I said… Misogyny

Otep – Whereas Pink definitely could kick my ass, I get the feeling Otep wants to kick my ass. And for some reason that’s really sexy.

Miley Cyrus – I admit to it.

Yeah, I'd do Chris Cornell. And I don't think that's gay.

Yeah, I’d do Chris Cornell. And I don’t think that’s gay.

Katy Perry – I once heard her referred to as ‘the tits I could play with until the end of time.’ I’m not sure I could do it that long, but Earth would be a cinder burnt out by the expanding sun by the time I was done.

Chris Cornell – I’m not gay or anything. I don’t want to have sex with him. I just want to spoon… man.

This has been my desktop background for a while now.

This has been my desktop background for a while now.

 

Taylor Momsen of The Pretty Reckless – So what if she looks like something from a Dr. Seuss book. She’s still the sexiest who this side of Horton’s eardrum.

Shirley Manson of Garbage – Scottish red head? Potty mouth? Terminator? YES! YES! YES!

If any of you ever find yourself in need of American citizenship, use me for your green card.

If any of you ever find yourself in need of American citizenship, use me for your green card.

 

 

Kittie – It was well documented that every metal dude on the face of the planet was in love with Kittie when they first came out in 1999, but has anyone heard their latest album?

Fiona Apple – I think every guy around my age who remembers this video was in love with Fiona Apple.

All joking aside, these women may have turned my head with their looks, but unlike a plethora of famous singers who aren’t on this list; they managed to keep my attention.

So You Wanna Start A Band 6


imagesI’ve learned enough playing in bands over the years to have some wisdom to pass on. I notice a lot of awful things bands pass off as normal behavior and hope I can make the world a better place by helping to prevent this. I don’t profess to know everything about ‘how to make it in the music biz.’ If I did I would be writing this from a tour bus and not my apartment. If you disagree with my views I encourage you to share your own. This tutorial is intended to help people catch up with where I’m at or surpass me. If you have another way of doing things which will bring more success I’d love to hear it.

PART 6: LEARN TO PLAY AN INSTRUMENT

I apologize for getting into ethics, looks and the right reasons for wanting to play in a band before focusing on what’s really important.

The first thing you have to do If you want to play in a band is learn to play an instrument.

Buy a cheap guitar, bass, keyboard, kazoo, recorder or triangle. And LEARN TO PLAY IT! Even if your goal is to be a lead singer it will help you to understand music theory and help you with composition.

Don’t just buy expensive equipment and hope for the best. You can suck just as well on a First Act as a Gibson Les Paul; and trust me, you’re going to suck at first. Don’t just learn to program drum machines and copy and paste samples. We already have enough bullshit in the world; don’t perpetuate it by making copies of it.

I’m glad I learned to play an instrument because I can express myself musically. If I have an idea I can sit with my guitar and bring it to fruition. While I see a lot of my friends grasping at straws trying to find the right sounds and melodies with no vision or idea of what the finished product will be.

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty”    -Teddy Roosevelt

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More Shitty Advice:

Part 5 – People Love Stupid Costumes

Part 4 – Stop Trying To Look Cool

Part 3 – Get Over It

Part 2 – So You Wanna Join A Band?

Part 1 – The Right Reasons

Happy Election Day


That’s right my fellow Americans. It’s the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November, which can only mean one thing: Election Day!!!

So get out there to you polling location and vote!

Use your freedom of choice!

I know I have a few international reader here and I’m curious, when do you have your elections?

 

Original Motion Picture Soundtrack ‘The Crow’


Platinum Anniversary Album Series

Here’s my latest entry in a series on albums that still rock me 20 years after their release.

The biggest influence on my musical preference after ‘Black Hole Sun’ came from a mix up with a BMG order.

BMG AdYou see children, back in the 90’s magazines would occasionally come with advertisements for music clubs like BMG or Columbia House. The way these clubs worked was that they would send you a bunch of CD’s for a penny (plus Shipping and Handling) in exchange for a commitment from you to buy a few more CD’s at the regular club price over the next few years. I always liked the deal. Plus they would always throw in bonus deals like ‘buy this months featured selection and get 2 more free.’ The only trouble was the way they would automatically send the featured selection and you would have to send it back if you didn’t want it.

Anyway… I digress.

After receiving Mom’s permission I ordered a batch and joined the BMG music club. Because I was such a good boy I ordered mainly ‘Mother Approved’ discs. Stuff that wouldn’t ruffle too many feathers in our mobile home with paper thin walls. I remember ordering The Tractors CD for my brother (He loved their hit “Baby Likes To Rock It Like A Boogie Woogie Choo-Choo Train“) and the self titled Blues Traveler album. Somehow, whether from my sloppy handwriting or a mistake at the shipping department, I received two albums I didn’t order: Megadeth’s Youthanasia and the soundtrack to The Crow. I was going to send them back with a letter asking for the ones I originally ordered, but no one wanted to give me a ride to the post office and Vic Rattlehead clothes pinning those babes up just looked so damn cool.

The-Crow-SoundtrackOriginal Motion Picture Soundtrack The Crow (29 March 1994)

Much like the film and graphic novel it’s based upon, the soundtrack to The Crow is really fucking dark. It begins, appropriately enough, with the sounds of birds (I believe they’re seagulls) In The Cure’s “Burn.” They provide a stellar opening with their echoey guitars and single note leads.

I’ve never heard Machines of Loving Grace anywhere but on this album, but “Golgotha Temple Blues” is one of my favorites. The slinky, sliding bass line propels this song down some strange back alleys better left untrod. But I feel like a better person for exploring them.

Stone Temple Pilot’s “Big Empty” seems a bit out of place here. It’s the only song that was a hit and the only one to have appeared on another album. As such, I think it would be more appropriate to review this track along with the album Purple. which I’m not going to do here.

The cover of Joy Division’s “Dead Souls” by Nine Inch Nails is another favorite. This album really created my interest in industrial music, but it created a skewed view of the genre by giving me songs with great bass lines and screeching guitar riffs instead of computer blips and bloops.

Rage Against the Machine provide their trademarked rap-metal with some great riffs, socially conscious lyrics and… a traditional solo from Tom Morello? It’s weird to think of it, but that dude can really shred.

“Color Me Once” is by far my favorite song on this album. From the quiet single note intro to the wah drenched outro I love every second. My favorite part is the lyrics, which make absolutely no sense to me, and the way they’re sung.

From there the album goes on a downhill slide of B-sides. The only the remaining standout tracks are the dance rock “Slip Slide Melting” by For Love Not Lisa and the alterna-pop “Time Baby III” by Medicine. Other than that the songs are pretty much stock tunes that didn’t fit onto the other bands’ albums.

I’m not even really a big fan of Jane Siberry’s “It Can’t Rain All The Time” which was incorporated into the film as a song Eric Draven’s band plays. Still, the first half is so great that even if side two slouches a bit it’s still a killer album.

the-crow-soundtrack-backFor more Platinum Anniversary Albums:

Part 6: Korn-Korn

Part 5: Marilyn Manson- Portrait of an American Family

Part 4: The Summer Nationals Tour 2014 

Part 3: Hole – Live Through This

Part 2: Soundgarden – Superunknown

Part 1: Weezer – The Blue Album

 

 

Suicide Setlist


I recently stumbled upon some articles I wrote for Buzzbin a few years ago that were never published. Hopefully you will find them more interesting and humorous than that damn editor did!

Suicide Setlist

If you’re anything like me music is always playing in the background. You listen to music while you cook and eat, read and write, study and exercise. But while everyone knows that Ministry is one of the best bands to work out to and Al Green is the best for romance, what songs provide the best soundtrack for suicide? Here I offer several suggestions and hope you take me up on the advice if you ever decide to off yourself. So kick back, pop some sleeping pills, drink some wine, and enjoy my suicide setlist.

Celine Dion “My Heart will go On”- It should provide some comfort to know that even in death your heart will linger, much like a fart in a poorly ventilated room.

Kid Rock hangingKid Rock “All Summer Long”- The first time I heard this song I was cruising down the highway so I cranked it up to jam along with “Werewolves of London.” When I realized I was listening to Kid Rock I became so despondent I nearly drove my car off a bridge.

Nirvana “Milk it”- Yeah, you knew Kurt was gonna show up on this list. Anyone still thinking he was murdered should listen to the lyrics of this song where he sings “look on the bright side is suicide.”

System of a Down “B.Y.O.B”- The perfect song to pump you up for your mission after you strap that bomb to your chest.

Soundgarden “Ty Cobb”- If you’re angry at the world and want your last comment to be “Fuck you all” you should probably put this song on. You could just leave a note but I think hearing Chris Cornell sing the words packs a better punch.

Mudvayne “Dig”- If you’re not sure about how to do it, this tune offers plenty of great suggestions.

Loudon Wainwright III “Unrequited to the Nth Degree”- This song is about suicide, but it’s extremely funny so I wouldn’t suggest it to anyone planning on shooting themselves.

The Doors “The End”- Do I really need to explain this one?

Ozzy Osbourne “Suicide Solution”- Due to the subliminal messages hidden in this song which makes all listeners kill themselves I wouldn’t suggest that anyone not planning on killing themselves ever listen to it.

Nine Inch Nails “The Downward Spiral”- I’m not sure if this song is about killing yourself or killing someone else. Either way it seems appropriate for this list.

Anything by Alice in Chains- I love Alice but they are extremely depressing.

Deep Blue Something “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”- I just include this song because of my love of Audrey Hepburn, and the fact that I’ll never be able to fuck her without being a necrophiliac.

Jane’s Addiction “Mountain Song” or Red Hot Chili Peppers “Suck My Kiss”- Doesn’t it depress you to know that no matter how hard you try you’ll never be nearly as cool as these guys?

The Charlie Daniels Band “The Devil went down to Georgia”- If you kill yourself you’ll go to hell, so you might as well get used to Satan’s fiddle playing ASAP (I always thought he blew Johnny out of the water in this tune).

Bye bye bye cruel world!

Bye bye bye cruel world!

The Carpenters “Superstar”- Fucking rock stars and their one night stands. He said he’d be coming back this way again, baby…

NSYNC “Bye Bye Bye”- I refuse to live in a world where Joey Fatone is a millionaire.

Acid Bath “Scream of the Butterfly”- Wait… that’s the perfect song for an abortion, not a suicide.

Pink Floyd “Goodbye Cruel World”